Moms have the toughest job in the world. If you don’t believe us, check out this video.
Being a father is an important role too. It is not that we think being a father is a breeze, in fact, there are a growing number of single father families who seem to have super powers. There are after all at least 2 things mothers can do than no father will ever do: give birth and breast feed. But we are highlighting that being a mother is unique challenge and that because husbands are NOT moms, we want to share the breaks that every mother wishes their husband would give her.
- A break from being all put together. Especially when children are from birth to about five or six years old, every cell within mom is focused on being mom. An endless amount of un-recharged energy supply is required. Expect no make-up, sweat/yoga pants, and old tee shirts to be common. See the girl you married through the un-kept-ness that is required to survive giving your child everything they ever needed from a mother.
- A break from seeming totally sane. We are not saying that moms are crazy. We are saying that sometimes when you encounter the mother of your children, what they share about their day or how they are feeling about what happened in their day, or something that they want or need from you, they may not make sense. You may wonder if your wife has lost her mind. The female body’s hormonal system takes some time to adjust after having a child. The sleep deprivation, repetitive children’s songs and tunes, and loud seemingly unending infant crying probably works the same as the interrogation techniques of the CIA in the early years of the war on terror. Extend grace and patience to what she is saying and how she is saying. Meet her with compassion and understanding.
- A break from being amorous. According to the research, the first 18 to 24 months after baby is born is a time of significantly reduced libido for moms. Everything, even biologically, is focused on baby. Since she is not thinking about her sexual needs she does not have your sexual needs on her mind either. She may reach out to you for affection, but don’t think that means that she is becoming aroused. So don’t take it personally. She still loves you, thinks you are cute (sometimes even sexy), and doesn’t have feelings for someone else. She just doesn’t have those feelings for while. Communicate about your sexual needs in a respectful and honest way while respecting that it may seem like a chore at times for her during this period in your relationship. Her loving feeling will return over time.
- A break from being mom. Before motherhood, she was in individual with a personality and favorite tastes in entertainment, cuisine and fashion. Since becoming a mom, all of her has been wrapped up into motherhood. And as the months roll on, she feels less and less herself. She begins to wonder what she really likes anymore as a person as she becomes less connected with the “grown up” world. There are days when all she wants to do is to have a short break to step out of being mom and step back into the self she has always been. When you get home from a tiring day at work and she says, “I need a break”, what she means is that she wants some time to reconnect with the other parts of herself. So give her the break she needs and enjoy being with the child or children you two created. She might go shopping, workout, sit and read a book, or something else, but what she will be doing is reminding herself of her other parts that have been squashed out as a mom.
If husbands will give the mother of their children these breaks, we believe it will make her an even better mom. And it will draw her closer to you and strengthen your relationship.
What breaks do think every mother needs from their husbands? Moms, what works for you? Dads, what do you think of these break ideas for the mother of your child?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.