It’s common to confuse an itch with a scratch. But there is a huge difference between an itch and a scratch.
An itch is a sensation that causes a desire to scratch. It is not action, but rather merely there. It is the desire to do or get something.
A scratch, on the other hand, is action in response to an itch. The focus of the action of scratching is to eliminate the itch.
A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out. Prov. 25:28 (MSG)
We do not know anyone who loves to do chores. But they have to get done. And with most couples who come to us for help, chores seems to be part of the discussion. One feels like the other hardly ever helps, or does not keep their end of the delegated chores or spends too much time doing them instead of connecting with their spouse. Sometimes the issue is that the one doing the chores is being regularly criticized instead of appreciated for doing them.
“For each will have to bear his own load” Galations 6:5 ESV
Holidays are a stressful time for couples and families. Negative patterns of interaction grow exponentially as almost all communication becomes focused on the tasks of the holiday. Frequently feelings are hurt in the mix and there are long periods of negative emotions and energy.
But now faith, hope, and love remain; these three virtues must characterize our lives. The greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13 (Voice)
Make This Holiday Weekend Better
Turn your relationships around during the holidays by implementing these tips for making memories!
From our family to yours! Happy Thanksgiving!
“I’M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD CALL YOU OR A DIVORCE LAWYER?”
The Marriage Intensive was developed for couples whose relationship is on life support. If you are wondering about the future of your relationship and are having trouble seeing a future with your spouse, the Marriage Intensive is the best chance for reviving your relationship. You can feel hope. If there is one cell within your body that believes there might be a sliver of hope, you need to give the Marriage Intensive a good try.
Our Marriage Intensives has been successful with couples who have…
- experienced recent or a history of infidelity, adultery, pornography addictions, sexual acting out;
- experienced financial disaster due to poor decisions of one spouse and are in deep mistrust over financial matters and the families financial future;
- been separated for periods of weeks to over a year and who have not had sexual intimacy in over five years;
- been through repair attempts with marriage counselors, pastors and others that have not worked in the past, and many other situations.
Four moments seems like such a short amount of time. Yet if you take advantage of the opportunities within these four moments, you will have the power to create the life together forever you have always wanted. Four moments out of every day are the most powerful to moving toward each other, instead of against or away from each other.
You improve your marriage by intentionally using the 4 most important relationship moments every day.
One of the most surprising findings of our work with thousands of couples over the years is that it only takes one spouse to change a marriage. One spouse can go outside of the marriage for something they have not created and developed in their marriage sabotaging any hope for their future together. One spouse can meet with a divorce industry attorney and file in courage. One spouse alone can end the marriage.
You have incredible power to create the change in your marriage you desire.
A recent call from a 32 year old wife in a five year old marriage. “Why is it that my husband showed me a lot of PDA (public display of affection) in our beginning of our relationship but is reluctant to do it now?”
The most powerful sex organ is the brain. Within the brain we are finding the answer to this very important question that is a common problem within most relationships.
It is amazing to us how many times husbands and wives are sitting in our offices and learn for the first time something about their spouse. Some have been married years and never knew that when she does this, he feels that… or that it always makes her feel the same negative way when he does that.
It makes sense to us that blown expectations is a huge part of the negative pattern of interactions that couples in struggle find themselves experiencing. One of the biggest “aha”s for us in our work with couples over the years is the huge number of times that the offended spouse has never communicated the expectation to the offending spouse. That is, when one spouse expects the other to do something that has never been communicated and is emotionally frustrated, hurt or sad when it does not happen.
Unspoken expectations are unhealthy expectations.
It’s that time of year again when our doorbell rings and children of all ages hold out a bag asking for “trick or treats”. Television sets are filled with “spooky” movies and “haunted” houses. Stores are packed with cases and cases of candy.
Over the years working with thousands of couples in our Life Together Forever Retreats and our Marriage Intensives, we have witness some of the most challenging spouses. So here is out list of the scariest spouses in marriages today.
The Five Scariest Spouses