Five Scary Spouses

It’s that time of year again when our doorbell rings and children of all ages hold out a bag asking for “trick or treats”. Television sets are filled with “spooky” movies and “haunted” houses. Stores are packed with cases and cases of candy.

Over the years working with thousands of couples in our Life Together Forever Retreats and our Marriage Intensives, we have witness some of the most challenging spouses. So here is out list of the scariest spouses in marriages today.

The Five Scariest Spouses

  1. Dictator/Tyrant – This spouse makes all the decisions. Everything seems to have a “my way or the highway” undertone to it. Over 80% of marriages where one spouse makes most of the decisions ends in divorce.  This spouse can easily make their marriage dangerous.
  2. Judge, Jury and Executioner – This spouse could also be called the Ready, Fire, Aim spouse. They read the situation before ever having any conversation. They unilaterally determine motive. And before gathering information, they act on their (usually errant) belief about the situation which causes a perpetuation of the problems. When the other spouse shares their side of the story, this spouse refuses to accept it outright.
  3. Chronic Blamer – This spouse has almost never done anything wrong. They have a hard time accepting responsibility for anything. When an issue is to brought to their attention, the counter attack can be huge and damaging. This spouse is never willing to work on themselves or try to become a better person because all of the relationship problems are the other spouse’s problem.
  4. Door Mat – This spouse never disagrees and stuffs every negative thought about their spouse and every negative feeling about their spouse’s actions and words. This spouse seems to be easy to get along with yielding at every turn. Over time, the negative feelings and thoughts become like a giant beach ball that is impossible to keep down under the water. At some point it all explodes usually causing great pain to their life and the lives of those they love the most.
  5. Myopic Wanderer – This spouse has eyes only for their world. It is as if they are going through life with blinders on. They only see their world as it impacts them. They are fully unaware of their spouse’s needs, hopes, goals and desires. Their self focused actions cause trust issue in every part of the relationship. The other spouse is lonely, unheard, unappreciated and tired. The other spouse usually feels like they have a child to raise instead of a spouse.

Get The Help You Need

If you find yourself on the list, either as one of the scariest or married to one of the scariest, we pray that you will get the help you need. We always recommend that you find competent Christian professionals to help. Talk to your Pastor. Call and set up an appointment with a Christian counselor or coach. Meet with a veteran marriage couple about how they make it work. Invest in your marriage before it is too late. If we can help you, contact us at 281-949-8115.

‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.’ Ephesians 5:21 (NiV)

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This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at [email protected].