“Did you hear? Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert are getting divorced after only four years.” It seems like a marriage in the limelight has a shelf life about as long as the life of a vase of roses. There are some Hollywood marriages that break the mold and make it the distance, like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, although they rarely make headlines.
Over the last several years, we have helped high profile couples during our Marriage Intensives. We have been trusted to help with the marriages of professional athletes, elected politicians, Fortune 500 CEOs, and high visibility Pastors. While each marriage has been unique, there are some patterns that we have observed that may be contributors for those who are in high profile marriages.
Special Challenges In High Profile Marriages
- Heavy Schedules. High profile marriages have external demands on their schedules that limit their time together. Traveling away from each other with limited check in time provides room for the flames of love to die.
- Affluence. High profile marriages usually have a team of staff to do many of the things that couples often do together. Chores, shopping, cooking, parenting, and washing vehicles may not be fun, but they are activities that couples who do not have great wealth share in together.
- Positive Presence. High profile couples put on a positive show for those in their entertainment circles to give the appearance of happiness. They might have just finished a horrible argument and move quickly into the public eye with smiles and warm embraces.
- Temptation. Many high profile individuals have more potential partners who make it known that they are available to them. Celebrity alone has some form of sex appeal to some people. Increased attention leads to temptation when the spouse is unavailable due to scheduling issues.
- Lone Wolf Syndrome. High profile couples feel their marriage falling apart but cannot bring themselves to request help from professionals. They feel like they must handle their marriage problems on their own. Unfortunately, the first professional they call when they know how bad the relationship is, isn’t someone who helps them stay together, but helps them divide up their assets and resolves custody issues.
Couples of any status can find themselves suffering from any one of these issues. And all couples, even those that are high profile, can have a marriage that is genuinely satisfying and makes the long haul. But they must decide together to do the things necessary to keep their love alive.
Making High Profile Marriages Work
- Make Marriage A Priority. When you place important activities and events into your schedule, make sure you are scheduling the important activities that make your marriage work. Schedule meetings (dates, conversations, etc.) with your spouse and make sure that nothing intrudes on them.
- Invest in Your Marriage. There are no perfect people and no perfect spouses. Invest in becoming a better spouse by reading, attending bible studies or workshops, and participating in marriage retreats. Enjoy weekends like Life Together Forever where your relationship will begin to change through couples exercises.
- Make Your Spouse The Sole Object of Your Affection. Your spouse looks attractive to you when you are looking solely at them. Keep your spouse the apple of your eye by being present with them in person or virtually as much as possible and by limiting your exposure to “tempters”.
- Talk To Each Other About Issues. Issues do not just go away. When you are in a negative pattern of interacting, the way you are talking about the issues becomes the problem. Couples who make it create space in their relationship for good communication around issues with a goal of creating a better future together.
- Get Help Before It Gets Too Bad. Search out competent Christian relationship experts to help you have the conversations that are not working when it is just the two of you. The fact that you are in a high profile marriage means that you are “divorce vulnerable”. The sooner you seek help when you notice problems, the better the chance that the marriage issues can be resolved and you will not have go through the pains of divorce.
We always love to hear from your readers. If you are in a high profile marriage, what other patterns would you add to our list. What ideas do you have to help couples in high profile have love for a lifetime?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.