The Marriage Intensive was developed for couples whose relationship is on life support.  If you are wondering about the future of your relationship and are having trouble seeing a future with your spouse, the Marriage Intensive is the best chance for reviving your relationship.  You can feel hope.  If there is one cell within your body that believes there might be a sliver of hope, you need to give the Marriage Intensive a good try.

Our Marriage Intensives has been successful with couples who have…

• experienced recent or a history of infidelity, adultery, pornography addictions, sexual acting out;
• experienced financial disaster due to poor decisions of one spouse and are in deep mistrust over financial matters and the families financial future;
• been separated for periods of weeks to over a year and who have not had sexual intimacy in over five years;
• been through repair attempts with marriage counselors, pastors and others that have not worked in the past, and many other situations.

Divorce is costly.  Staying stuck in an unhealthy marriage can be just as costly to the financial, physical, and familial health of the couple and family.  The average cost of a contested divorce today, including custody revisions, is between $20,000 and $50,000.  A retainer during the first visit with a competent family law attorney is usually more than the cost of trying our Marriage Intensive.

Usually one spouse in the marriage has had enough.  They feel pressured to make a decision between staying stuck in a bad marriage or filing for divorce.  There is another option.  Try making your marriage healthy be investing a fraction of the cost in our marriage saving Marriage Intensive.

Did you know that 11% of couples who divorce end up remarrying each other?  That is more than 1 in 10 couples who went through the emotionally charged and damaging divorce process who could have avoided it by first trying an effective marriage saving approach like our Marriage Intensive.

Do not make a permanent decision in what may be a temporary situation.  In one study, over 80% of couples who decided to stay together and not divorce during the worst problem season of their marriages later found their relationship happier and more satisfying than before the worst season ever occurred.  That means that your best days of marriage as a couple are likely on the other side of this worst season in your relationship.

The Marriage Intensive is a way to make sure you need a divorce before proceeding.  It is a way to come to a final decision, once and for all, to either move forward toward a new future together or to finalize the end of the marriage by beginning the divorce process.

“WE TRIED COUNSELING AND IT DIDN’T WORK BUT THE LIFE TOGETHER FOREVER MARRIAGE INTENSIVE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE!”

According to leading marriage counselors and researchers, evidenced based relationship and marriage counseling only works about half the time.  The traditional counseling model of an hour or two a week tends to take too long.  The pain the in the relationship that caused the call for help is not helped by adding pain frequently associated with the change process.  Couples too frequently give up before getting the change they came to counseling for in the first place.

That is the reason we developed our own Life Together Forever Marriage Intensive.  During our Marriage Intensive, you can expect to work through the same pain of change in a much shorter time span with a success rate of over eighty-five percent.  you and your spouse will spend the day with focused attention on your relationship.  There will be no more wondering about whether your spouse is actually working on his or her counseling needs.  You will know as you invest in uninterrupted energy and time on repairing, healing and restoring your relationship.  Life Together Forever Christian couples help is right for you.

WHAT IS A MARRIAGE INTENSIVE?

The Marriage Intensive is a series of facilitated training processes that focus on helping you get to the root of the pain in your marriage and learn what to do with it in order to move forward together.  One couple spends the day along with Roy Wooten and either Devra or one of our other trained facilitators.  No other couples are involved.  You and your marriage are the sole focus of the day long process.

You and your spouse will be asked a series of questions that will help you tell your story and become clear on what it is that you need and want from your relationship.  You will also have a chance to hear, with new ears, your spouse’s story and what he or she wants form the relationship.  Although the Marriage Intensive has very few teaching moments, couples report that they learn a great deal about their spouse and how to move forward.  The Marriage Intensive is not complete without a clear plan about how to move forward.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

Every couple!

Every spouse feels, at one time or another, like quitting.

Every spouse!

Relationships are hard. Doing life together forever is one of the greatest challenges in life.

Looking For Help In All The Wrong Places

When a spouse is struggling in their relationship, they will seek help. This usually begins by searching on the internet for relationship articles addressing their issue. They also search through magazines and books for some source of information that may be helpful.

Christians want to know what the Bible says about their issue. In addition to seeing what is online, they may speak with a Christian mentor or friend. They may also ask a teacher or leader at their church.

Additionally spouses will ask people in their life that they trust or deem as safe. They ask a parent, friend, colleague, service personnel (cosmetologist, etc).

Many times the advice that they get is all wrong for what is going on in their lives. A spouse who acts on the advice found in non-scientific, non-Christian sources found online, or the advice of friends, relatives and strangers may actually cause more harm to their relationship than if they did nothing at all.

Non Professional Advice Is Costly

Would you be comfortable trusting accounting advice given by a stranger if you knew you were being audited? How comfortable would you be asking a neighbor or a friend to do your home electrical or plumbing work? Would you be comfortable driving a car that your best friend or parent changed out the transmission on?  Would you let your friend treat your medical condition?

Of course not!

Then why would you accept and act on advice given by such sources for the most important thing in your life- your marriage?

We cringe when we read some of the many relationship blogs out there. Some have experienced horrible relationships and has now made themselves a “relationship expert” dolling out advice via a blog on dating, marriage, cheating, sex, etc. It breaks our hearts that someone might find some very dangerous advice and act on it.

Look For Relationship Experts

If you are having relationship problems, find a relationship expert. Look for someone who has a proven record in helping spouses create the marriage they really want. Find people who are able to take scientific relationship research and test it against their experience with working with hundreds of couples. Search for someone that has a strong Christian faith and will not advise you to do things that are not in line with what God has spoken in the Bible.

Credentials are important, but just because someone has credentials does not mean they are the right source. Read this article about why marriage counseling does not work before choosing a marriage counselor.

Our Recommendations For Relationship Counseling

Always seek a Pastor or minister, or a Christian Marriage Counselor or Christian Marriage Coach who has a proven record of helping couples have a healthy marriage.   If we can help, you can always contact us.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

When we met with Chris and Loyce for the marriage intensive, we learned that they were in a messy pattern of interacting that we have noticed in many couples over the years.

Becoming A Victim

When we experience something uninvited, unexpected, traumatic or conflict in our marriage, sometimes we drop into a victim role. We react to our world and our spouse by moving to a place or situation with few options.

• You refuse to take any responsibility for your part in the relationship problem.
• You hold onto hurts. You store up your resentment and anger. You hold onto grudges.
• You refrain from saying what you want to say. You become reactive to your spouse and do not ask for what you want in the relationship.
• You feel powerless as if you have no control or influence in the relationship.
• You begin to trust less and less.
• You assume the worst about the motives for anything your spouse does or says.
• You feel sorry for yourself. There is an absence of gratitude for your relationship and your spouse. You compare yourself and your spouse to others.
• You unintentionally make yourself better than your spouse. You look down at your spouse while at the same time viewing yourself better than you truly are.

Casting Your Spouse As Villain

When you slide into the victim role, you automatically begin to place your spouse into the role of villain. Your actions toward them begin to pull them into the role, therefore their behaviors begin to match what you have assigned.

Sometimes when the relationship is dangerous, your spouse may very well be the villain and you need to take steps for you and your children’s safety. Find out if you are in a dangerous relationship in this link. But if your relationship is not dangerous, then your victim role is drawing the villain behavior out of your spouse.

Stepping Out Of The Victim Role

Break out of this negative pattern of interaction. The pain of staying stuck in the victim role might be strong enough to allow you to take action to see if you can break the pattern of interaction. If you are ready to get a different and new future, take the following actions:

1. Accept Responsibility – Realize that what you are doing (or not doing) in the victim role is actually contributing to the problem. Discover how you are contributing to the continuation of this relationship problem.
2. Find Your Best Self – Touch base with yourself about the kind of person you are when you are at your best. Your best self would not be doing the kinds of things you have been doing. Rediscover who you are at the core of your soul. Remind yourself of how the God of mercy, grace, and love sees you. Step into being the spouse God made you to be. Get professional help if you have trouble finding this.
3. Create A New Future Together – Instead of reacting to what your spouse does, take action to create a new future. Be a loving and grace oriented spouse. Say what you need to say by requesting from your spouse what you want from them in a way they can hear it. Fill your heart with gratitude again. Live out of your best self.  Assume the best.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

But as you take the vows of matrimony in front of God and your family and friends and move in together, you soon find that there are a large number of differences. Any two people living under the same roof will disagree about where things should go, how they should be arranged and how everything should be kept. Personality differences that you curiously thought were cute now become major sticking points in arguments and disagreements.

She wants the toilet paper to roll from the top to the bottom and he does not think it should matter. He thinks dishes should be cleaned and put away right away and she thinks they can sit as long as everything is sanitary. She wants to save electricity by keeping doors closed, lights off and the AC/Heat moderately chilly in the winter and warm in the summer to save on bills. He thinks living comfortably, including not always turning off lights and closing doors, is worth the extra costs.   Her idea of fun is a room full of people sharing, laughing, dancing and playing together and his idea of fun is the two of them on a walk or better yet sitting near each other reading separate books. And on and on…

There are three ways most couples deal with these issues:

1. My Way or The Highway. This approach is usually taken by one spouse as almost every issue becomes a potential relationship breaker. Control pops up as a major feature and the other spouse must leave or bend to accept the other persons way of doing life. This approach is unhealthy, never works long term and sometimes leads to domestic violence.
2. Change My Spouse. This approach is sometimes taken by both spouses. Early in the relationship it seems doable. They are in love with me so much that they will make this one little change in their personality or in their way of thinking. But spending your time and energy trying to change and train your spouse rarely ends in fulfillment. Over the years the frustration of your spouse not changing can lead to bitterness, un-forgiveness and even hatred. This approach is unhealthy are rarely successful.
3. Accept My Spouse’s Differences. This approach is the healthiest and requires compromise and compassion. You must move from thinking about the issue as right and wrong or good and bad and begin to think of the issue as your preference for dealing with it and my spouse’s preference for dealing with it. By taking this approach you begin to see the possibilities for a way together that includes joy and peace.

Husbands live with your wives in an understanding way… I Peter 3:7

One of the best ways to accept your spouse’s differences in issues of home management, chores, budgeting, etc. is to have a courageous conversation about the pressing issue. During the discussion, decide between the two of you who should take the lead in one or more of the areas that cause friction. Perhaps he enjoys cooking so he offers to be responsible for cooking and the clean up afterward. She enjoys gardening and takes responsibility for lawn care. You will give your spouse freedom to do it their way in the area they are taking the most responsibility.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

The Effect of Divorce On Children

1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”)
2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. (The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)
3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)
4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, “The Effects of Divorce On America)
5. Studies in the early 1980’s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage –Harvard University Press 1981)
6. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill “Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development” Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)
7. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems. (Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment” Sage Publications, 1988)
8. Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married. (Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well Being” National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage and the Family)
9. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, “Single Motherhood and Children’s Health”)
10. Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, “Family Structure and Children’s Health and Well-being” Journal of Marriage and the Family)
11. Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members. (Los Angles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation)
12. A Child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered. (The Legal Beagle, July 1984, from “The Garbage Generation”)
13. A study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be “lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure. (Wallerstein “The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991)
14. Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. (Horn, Bush, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform)
15. Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, “Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993)
16. Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, “Marriage, Divorce and Children’s Adjustment, 1988)
17. People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, “Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988)
18. Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce. (McLanahan, Sandefur, “Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” Harvard University Press 1994)

If you are a divorced parent, please consider the resources of our friends at The Bridge Across or Shield Bearer Counseling Centers.  But if your divorce is not final or you are even thinking about a divorce, contact us for a Marriage Saving Intensive.  You will not regret giving your marriage every last chance to get healthy again.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

In the following weeks, Georgia admitted an emotional affair and begged for forgiveness. Douglas stated that he had forgiven her, but occasionally withdrew into anger and hurt. Anytime she picked up her phone to text her sister or mother, Douglas asked to see it.

Georgia called for a marriage intensive, stating, “He hasn’t really forgiven me or he’d let this go.” She felt frustrated that even thought she ended the relationship and asked for forgiveness, he kept bringing it up.

Throughout the day long marriage intensive, we helped them discover the differences between forgiveness, trust and reconciliation and began the process of creating a new future together.

When Trust Is Betrayed

After a major trust-buster, both spouses have a hard road ahead of them. We have worked with many couples who have made the long journey on the road to recovery to a new levels of intimacy, passion and commitment their marriage had never experienced before.

Both the betrayer and the betrayed have specific actions that they must take to recover after a major trust break. One of the most important things couples must realize is that there are huge differences between forgiveness, trust and reconciliation.

Forgiveness Is About The Past

Forgiveness focuses on an injustice that we have experienced. It is about finding healing about a traumatic relationship event in our history together.

Trust Is About The Present

Different that forgiveness, trust is about what I am willing to make vulnerable to be hurt again in the present. It is about how I feel about my heart’s vulnerability to be hurt again. Trust is a moment-by-moment, present decision.

Reconciliation Is About The Future

Reconciliation is a decision one makes to begin to create a new future together.

Forgiveness Is Personal

Forgiveness is not dependent upon any one other than the betrayed. Forgiveness is the process of coming to a place of healing around the wound that happened to you. You decide to begin the process of forgiveness so that you can create room in your heart to feel peace and joy again.

What is interesting about forgiveness is that you can forgive someone without ever letting them know that you have forgiven them. You can forgive people whom you will never see again. And forgiveness is about you coming into a new place around the wounding event so that you can replace bitterness and resentment with peace and joy.

Trust Is Interactive

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. The betrayed feels like they were a fool to have ever trusted the betrayer in the first place. However, they see the betrayer as the one who wounded them and the one who is at fault. They are afraid to trust again because if that trust is broken a second time, they will view themselves as the one who wounded them.

Trust takes two people to create. It takes the betrayed giving the betrayer room to show that they are trustworthy. It requires the betrayer or live with impeccable integrity to show that they are worth trusting. If the betrayed never gives the betrayer space to prove their trustworthiness, trust will never develop.

Trust is not all or nothing. It is not black or white. You may trust your physician with 100% of your health history, but 10% of your financial condition. You may trust your sibling with 75% of what you think about your parents but only 15% of what you think of them.

Trust begins to build as you begin to trust your spouse at some percentage. As they show their trustworthiness, with new and improved trustworthy behavior, trust will begin to build.

Reconciliation Is A Decision

Reconciliation is a conscious, intentional decision to move toward your spouse and begin creating a new future together. It is an individual decision. Reconciliation can be pursued unilaterally. You may choose to pursue reconciliation with all of your vigor, but eventually reconciliation takes both spouses to eventually work.

We have witnessed reconciliation take place after the decision to reconcile by only one spouse was made. They started doing everything that could to begin to create a new future for their marriage. Eventually, their spouse began to see that a new relationship was possible and began working toward reconciliation.

We have also witnessed only one spouse focused on reconciliation for over two years with no effort or willingness to reconcile made by their spouse. The marriage ended in divorce.

How They Affect Each Other  

If you want reconciliation, you will eventually have to forgive your betraying spouse and trust them again. You can never forgive your betraying spouse, never trust them again and not reconcile the relationship. You can forgive your betraying spouse, never trust them again and never reconcile your marriage. You can forgive your betraying spouse, develop a trust level deep enough to have conversations about the children, and decide never to reconcile.   You can begin to trust your spouse again, reconcile your relationship, never forgive them, and live with bitterness in your heart. But eventually your resentment and bitterness will cause your relationship to fail.

But reconciliation eventually involves both forgiveness and trust. The decision to move toward each other assists with development of forgiveness and trust. If the decision to reconcile is delayed by a “watch and see” approach, forgiveness and trust will take longer to develop.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

Daniel was frustrated with his marriage. Almost every interaction with Sheri led to her belittling him. He felt like he was holding up his part in the relationship by providing so well for his family, but she had changed. Their early years were sexually enjoyable but he felt like she had turned the marriage bed into a monthly chore she endured.

When Hurricane Harvey dumped over forty inches of rain in their neighborhood, their home took on three feet of water. They had moved as much as they could upstairs but so much of their furniture and home was lost. Sitting in a distant relatives living room, turned bedroom, he told her that their marriage was a sham and he intended to file for divorce the coming week.

Thankfully Sheri reached out to us for a Marriage Intensive. Daniel agreed and God met them in their painful place and renewed their hearts toward each other. They made commitments to build a better future together.

Disasters and Divorce

Disasters, like Hurricane Harvey, frequently amplify problems in the marriage. Catastrophes do not cause divorce. They cause each spouse to better see the marriage challenges in front of them. They shine a light in the broken places of relationships.

Check Your Relationship

• How passionate is your marriage? Check your passion with this quiz and discover how you can reignite passion in your marriage again.
• How emotionally connected is your marriage? Check your connection with this quiz and discover how you can reconnect and create a deeply connected marriage again.
• How committed are you to the future of your marriage? Check your commitment with this quiz and discover how to strengthen your resolve to create a lifelong marriage.

Make The Healthy Move

In every interaction with your spouse, you have the following choices in what you do. You have no control over what your spouse does, but you have complete control and responsibility for what you do. Choose wisely.

• Move Away – When disaster strikes, you can choose to move away from your spouse. Moving away includes subtle actions like being unavailable as you are into your device, phone or television, working longer and longer hours, spending all of your time serving, or staying in another room away from your spouse. Moving away also includes separating from your spouse time wise, such as always being with your friends or family and unavailable to your spouse.
• Move Against – When disaster strikes, you can choose to move against your spouse by ignoring their attempts for connection, becoming critical, raising your voice, threatening divorce, or engaging in dangerous behaviors.
• Move Toward – When disaster strikes, you can choose to move toward your spouse by spending more time together, exhibiting physical affection, telling them what you appreciate about them, and joining them in their favorite past time. You can choose to move toward your spouse even if your spouse is moving away or moving against you.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

Jillian and Randall are like so many other couples who are experiencing the pain of a sexless marriage.  Over the course of a very hard day of work in the Marriage Intensive, they both found some healing personally and then in their relationship, and built a new future together.

Top 10 Reasons You Live In A Sexless Marriage

1. Stress – Your spouse is in a season of a great amount of stress and anxiety is getting in the way of wanting to be intimate.
2. Drugs – Your spouse feels like smoking and other drugs are more exciting and fulfilling. Instead of sex, they engage in their addictions.
3. Performance Anxiety – Your spouse feels inadequate in bed and is worried about their inability to satisfy you to such an extent that they no longer want to risk trying.
4. Medical Issues – Your spouse’s diabetes or other medical conditions, or the side affects of the medications, are causing a significant decrease in libido.
5. Pornography – Instead of engaging in sex with a real person, your spouse has become trapped in fulfilling their sexual desires though the fantasy of porn. When it comes time to have what you offer, they have already wasted their sexual energy elsewhere.
6. Body Issues – Your spouse compares their body to every other body they see in media that they believe they are repulsive naked and avoid it at all costs in front of anyone else, even you.
7. Depression – Your spouse is suffering from depression and has lost interest in almost everything they have always enjoyed, including sex.
8. Angry and Hurt – Your spouse has experienced a great amount of pain in your relationship and is angry. Your spouse wants you to experience the same level of pain and are withholding sex to “punish” you for what you have done.
9. Someone Else – Instead of engaging in sex with the one they have chosen to spend the rest of their life with, your spouse has been lured by the feeling that there is something better “out there”. When it comes time to have what you offer, they have already wasted their sexual energy elsewhere.
10. The Passion Is Gone – Sex has become routine happening in the same place, at the same time, and in the same way. The things you once did to really connect outside of the bedroom have been replaced with focused attention on parenting, logistics, career, home management, handling chores or in-laws.

What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?

There are some specific things you can do if you are living in a sexless marriage. Here are what we recommend.

• Pray. Pray for your marriage, for your spouse, and for yourself.
• Have a Courageous Conversation. You want to have a strong lifelong marriage. You want to have passion in your life. Follow the courageous conversation rules and have a discussion about what you are experiencing and what your really want in your marriage.
• Have the Sex Talk. We have encouraged thousands of couples to have the sex talk about frequency and types of sex every year or two. Knowing what you want more of in your sex life and knowing what you spouse wants more of can help you have realistic expectations and make adjustments.
• Get help. Find a pastor, veteran married couple, Christian counselor, or relationship coach. Schedule a Marriage Intensive with us to find healing in your relationship and build a new future together.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

Her counselor had been supporting her right to be happy. The counselor had even shared some scriptures to justify how her husband’s inattention was scriptural justification for divorce.   She was at her wit’s end.

Darla felt like they had really loved each other early in their marriage but that something had changed. She did not hear God telling her to leave him and wondered if they should do more personal work alone with individual counselors or commit to a Marriage Saving Intensive.

Perhaps you are a spouse like Darla. You wonder if you are loved anymore and you are unhappy in your marriage. Too frequently unhappy spouses are ill advised, as Darla was, to seek a divorce.

According to a study commissioned by the Institute for American Values, happiness is just as elusive as a divorced single as it is within marriage. The study included over 5,000 couples and here are some of the findings:

• 74% of divorces happened to adults that were happily married five years prior to their divorce.
• Two out of three (66%) of unhappy spouses who decided not to divorce were happily married five years later.
• Only one of five (20%) of unhappy spouses who divorced were happy in their new relationship five years later.
• Unhappily married spouses who divorce are no happier than unhappily married spouses who do not divorce.
• Unhappily married spouses who divorce and remarry someone else are not happier than unhappily married spouses that stayed married.
• Unhappily married spouses who divorced did not experience reduced depressive symptoms, increased self-esteem, or increased mastery in their lives.
• Divorce was associated with dramatic declines in happiness and psychological well-being compared to those who stayed married.
• Three out of four (75%) unhappily married spouses were married to happily married spouses.
• Staying married did not lead to domestic violence. 86% of spouses who divorced and 93% of unhappy spouses who did not divorce did not report any domestic violence. ( Read: How to Know If You Are In A Dangerous Relationship).

What this study means is that your happiness is not based solely on your relationship. Staying with your spouse and working it out leads to a happiness that you cannot get if you leave. Staying and working it out is your best hope for having the marriage relationship you want.

Darla and her husband came in the next week for a Marriage Intensive. The pain in their marriage was deeper than she had reported. And God did his miracle work in bringing healing to each of their hearts and to the relationship that day. They are still together over two years later and she reports being happily married.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.

Do you want to experience relational healing and restoration?

Do you want to strengthen communication and connection?

Then this is the perfect event for you!

Couples will learn, experience and practice the application of powerful Biblical Truth as Roy and Devra share their real and humorous relationship stories.  With other couples, enjoy discovering the way forward in common challenges of relationships with exciting sessions including:

• Doing Life Together Forever
• Creating a Lifelong Marriage
• Speaking and Hearing Truth
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation
• Stress-Less Living
• Healthy Expectations
• Courageous Conversations
• Sex, Love and Romance
• Relationships God’s Way

September 16, 2017

$50 per couples

West Houston Church of Christ

17100 West Rd Houston, TX 77095

Register Now