Fred and Sheila had called to discuss having a Marriage Intensive with us. She had recently contacted an attorney about a divorce. “I just can’t take it anymore. He is always mad. He never has any time for me. I do everything for him and all I want is for him to notice me and want to be with me. He is always mad at me and I don’t know why.”
All couples fight! There are no perfect couples. All couples disagree and argue. Some handle their disagreements with becoming loud, big and scary. Others move away from each other by withdrawing into silence, leaving the room… or the house.
Lisa was about to explode. Her husband of 8 years came home early from work, plopped down on the couch and asked, “what’s for supper?” After a full day of caregiving for her 18 month old and kindergartner, she was tired and stressed. And his first communication with her was one that really pushed her buttons.
Full body attention is how we tell our spouse they are the most important and highest priority in our world in that moment.
You may believe that you know your spouse very well. Frequently we find that couples who have been married the longest fall into the trap of assuming they know more about their spouse than they actually do. Let go of your assumptions and what you think they will say and focus instead on really listening to their heart and sharing yours.
