Lisa was about to explode. Her husband of 8 years came home early from work, plopped down on the couch and asked, “what’s for supper?” After a full day of caregiving for her 18 month old and kindergartner, she was tired and stressed. And his first communication with her was one that really pushed her buttons.
Full body attention is how we tell our spouse they are the most important and highest priority in our world in that moment.
Have you ever noticed that some couples seem to talk positive about the other spouse when they are not around? When they are seen together they appear to genuinely like each other? When there is a disagreement with anyone outside of the relationship, they take up for their spouse, even when all logic points that their spouse is wrong?
Four moments seems like such a short amount of time. Yet if you take advantage of the opportunities within these four moments, you will have the power to create the life together forever you have always wanted. Four moments out of every day are the most powerful to moving toward each other, instead of against or away from each other.
You improve your marriage by intentionally using the 4 most important relationship moments every day.
Linda and Dan had over two decades of marriage under their belt. With one child in high school and the other in middle school, this should have been some of the best years of their marriage and life. When they called us, Linda was considering separating because she could not “stay in a passionless marriage one more day.” We met them in a full day Marriage Intensive solely focused on improving their relationship. Dan seemed clueless that there was any problem.
You may believe that you know your spouse very well. Frequently we find that couples who have been married the longest fall into the trap of assuming they know more about their spouse than they actually do. Let go of your assumptions and what you think they will say and focus instead on really listening to their heart and sharing yours.
