We have dear friends who are lifelong Dallas Cowboy fans. In good times and bad, they watch every game religiously. They spend hundreds of dollars on Dallas Cowboy branded merchandise, home décor and clothing. One of the first outfits their children wore as newborns was a Dallas Cowboy onesie. Their cars have Cowboys bumper stickers. Their work areas and home has Cowboys décor. Everyone they know knows that they are Cowboys fans. They are definitely Dallas Cowboy fanatics.
According to Merriam –Webster Dictionary, the word fan is “probably short for fanatic” and first appeared in 1682. A fan is “an enthusiastic devotee” and “an ardent admirer or enthusiast.”
We are amazed at what research is telling us about our current culture’s view of marriage. About 35% of first time marriages fail. Over 50% of second time marriages end in divorce and fewer than 35% of third time marriages actually make it. It is as if we were built to have one lifelong love and we give it our all. But if it does not work out, we hold back our heart on the second one, afraid to get hurt again. That holding back makes our marriage less sticky.
Marriage is kind of like duct tape. When you first tear of a piece and stick it, it is difficult to remove. Each time you peel it off and attempt to stick it again, it looses its stickiness. Our marriages loose their “sticky” factor each time we tear it off and attempt it again.
And what is more alarming than that is the research that shows fewer and fewer people are choosing marriage. The trend under 35 years of age shows that more and more couples are what we call “playing married”. Over 80% of cohabitations do not end in marriage. That means that by the time those who choose to play married attempt marriage, they will have already lost their stickiness in a few prior attempts.
Marriage needs more fans. People who are married are more satisfied with life and report higher levels of well-being or happiness than their non-married counterparts. Married couples enjoy several advantages over non-married folks:
- Better Health
- Longer Life Span
- More Wealth
- Greater Sexual Satisfaction
- Less Depression and Addictions
And children who live in a home with both mom and dad are significantly less likely to experience:
- Infant Mortality
- Drop Out
- Addition as Teen
- Pregnancy as Teen
- Prison as Adult
We believe marriage needs more fans. Fans who talk about what is good about their marriage to others. Fans who champion marriages, like our Cowboys friends, in good times and in bad times. Fans who are ardent admirers of marriages that are strong and long. Fans who are enthusiasts, studying, talking about and supporting marriage.
If you are a fan of marriage, you will also be a fan of your spouse. You will be a fan who champions your spouse in good times and bad. You will be your spouse’s biggest enthusiast. You will be an ardent admirer of who they are. Everyone you know will know how much you love your spouse. They will know by the way you dress, how you talk about your spouse, what your work-space looks like, what your vehicle looks like, etc. You will defend your spouse to anyone who speaks anything but praise about them.
We are always curious about how we can become better fans of marriage and of our spouse. What are you doing to champion marriage? How are you being your spouse’s biggest fan?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.