We just completed our Houston Marriage Retreat 2015 where 100 couples spent all day Saturday and half the day Sunday in a series of exercises and workshops focused on helping them reconnect, recommit and restore relationships. As with every event we do, we love to hear from couples about what a difference it made in their lives.
Daniel and Kim told us that they had participated in one of our Marriage 911 weekends about a year ago when they were on the brink of divorce. They found themselves challenged and began the process of doing the things they needed to do to create a healthy marriage. Knowing that they needed more, in the spring they attended a nationally promoted marriage program. They told us that they spent over $800 that weekend and left feeling really bad about themselves and their future. “It was one speech after another for the entire weekend. Our marriage was worse than before we attended.
Last weekend they experienced our Life Together Forever Weekend. In a better place than when we first met them, the exercises were able to break through into new areas of emotional connection than ever before. “We love that your weekends are focused on making the marriage relationship better. Making us talk about things we usually don’ t talk about in a room full of other couples who are having the same discussion, helped us feel closer than we ever have.”
The Secret to Life Together Forever
Here’s the secret to making marriage work: maintaining friendship.
When you first started dating, you spent a great amount of time getting to know each other. You spent all your free time together. When you weren’t together, your spouse was always on your mind.
Over time, the focus of our relationships becomes household management, chores, money, in-laws, friends, parenting, etc. We stop doing the things that led to us falling heavy in like which led to us falling heavy in love.
The true secret to making marriage work is to continue to put in to practices those things that led to us falling in like and eventually love. Spending time together getting to know each other again. Dating each other. Sending notes, texts, emails, and making calls to each other. Being kind and giving each other the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming we know their motives for what they said or did.
Liking each other and developing fondness and admiration for each other is something that couples who make it for the long haul do. They purposefully engage in activities that builds their friendship.
Your Marriage Challenge
Over the next 30 days, commit to doing one thing every day focused on building friendship with your spouse. Set up a date. Spend time getting to know them again. Send them a text or note of appreciation. Jump their bones. Send them a gift. Do their chores for them for a day. Sing them a love song. Write them a poem. Go do something they love to do with them. Make them smile.
We always love to hear from our readers. What recommendations for maintaining friendship do you have for couples? If you took the challenge, how did it go?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.