In his early 30’s, Jeremy has been in one relationship after another. He falls in love and they move in together. After about a year or so, things begin to heat up and he feels pressured to put a ring on her finger. When he calls for coaching, he says the same things:
“I’m not financially stable enough to get married yet.”
“I don’t want to get married and end up divorced like my parents.”
“I’m not sure she is the one for me. I love her but we get into fights a lot and she is really annoying when she…”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to make such a long term commitment.”
Marriage In Decline
Since the late 60s, marriage has fallen out of popularity.
- Over the last decade, the number of people in the US who are single has for the first time surpassed the number of people who are married.
- Average age of marriage has been pushed back almost a decade with the average age of first marriages by women at 27 and of men being 29.
- More people are cohabitating instead of marrying. The average length of cohabitation is 22 months and over 80% do not marry their cohabitating partner.
- Couples who cohabitate before marriage have a higher divorce rate than couples who do not cohabitate before marriage.
Marriage Makes Men Better
There is a paradox at work here. Young men do not feel “ready”, or “man enough” to make a lifelong commitment. They feel like they need to have their finances in better order before they commit and they fear the relationship will end up failing anyway.
At the same time, research is telling us that when a man jumps off the cliff and makes the long term commitment in marriage, he becomes a better man. In fact, men benefit more from marriage than women do.
- Are promoted faster.
- Are happier.
- Make higher income.
- Handle stress better.
- Live healthier lifestyles.
- Higher sexual satisfaction (frequency and type).
- Have fewer health problems.
- Less likely to be involved with legal issues.
- Live longer
- More financial stability and net worth.
- Are viewed as more attractive.
- Have a lifelong encourager and challenger.
Before You Marry
Before you say “I Do” invest in a Life Together Forever marriage class or get some coaching or counseling from a minister, or Christian Counselor or Coach. Develop some skills to make the commitment work and to build the relationship that you have always dreamed about.
What do you have to say?
We love to hear from readers. Have you ever thought about the paradox that what keeps men from getting married will actually change when they make the commitment. Did you know that men become better, healthier and happier when they get married? What advice would you give to a man considering proposing? Do you know someone who you need to forward this article to?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2016. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.