You are either growing or dying.
From the first day of life, everything is either growing or dying. The tree, insect, animal, or bird could be in the process of developing, living, spreading, stretching, flourishing, burgeoning, maturing, increasing, enlarging, or sprouting. Or it is in the process of decaying, fading, declining, disintegrating, passing, vanishing, withering, or perishing.
You are either growing or dying. If you are not continuing to learn and develop your self, you are becoming less of the person you really want to be. And the day you stop, give up, or quit trying to be the best you that you can possibly be, you begin the march toward the end.
Status Quo Doesn’t Work
You may think that you have grown all that you need to grow… that you have arrived at the very best state of the person you always wanted to be. You are about average, in every way. You are not satisfied with where you are, but you do not feel like putting forth any more effort will substantially change you or your circumstances.
Maintaining the status quo sounds good. Rest where you are. You have worked hard to get where you are. You don’t want to try something and it fail… and make it worse than it is. So you do nothing to continue to grow into the person you want to be.
But not growing is actually going backward. No effort results in natural decay. Deciding not to grow, or deciding not to decide at all, actually causes character, integrity, and emotional erosion. It leads you back to the most negative parts of your past. Old bad habits that you have kicked arise again. Before long you are doing things that you regret and you wonder how you got there.
If you are not growing, you are dying.
Your Marriage Is Either Growing Or Dying
Your marriage is either growing or dying.
Like you, your marriage is either growing or dying. You are either building into it, maturing it, and developing it into the marriage you have always wanted, or you are causing it to wither away.
Maintaining the status quo means that you have decided to let your marriage die. You may think that trying to be a better spouse, learning a new way to communicate about issues, or spending time making your marriage better will not be worth the effort. So you have stopped trying. You may have decided that it is too much effort and that it will not really change things… in fact, it might make things worse.
If you have not made a decision to become the best you, the best spouse, and have the best marriage that you possibly can have with your spouse, then you and your marriage are decaying and withering away.
A Decision To Grow or Die
Perhaps you have been too busy to work on your marriage. You don’t have time to do anything to make your relationship better. Then you have unconsciously made a decision to place everything else in a more important place than your marriage.
Perhaps you have not really thought about growing your marriage. You have worked on your career, parenting, finances, lifestyle, fitness, etc., but you haven’t ever thought about actively making your marriage better. You aren’t happy in your marriage, but that is what just happens in a marriage relationship.
If other areas in your life are good, but relationships are complicated and it has just happened that we are not where we want to be in our relationship, then you have made an unconscious decision not to let your marriage die.
Perhaps you believe that you may have married the wrong person. The state of your marriage is your spouse’s fault. Why should you do anything to make the marriage work if it will be one sided? You have used the same approaches to make your marriage work better several times before, and this is where it got you.
Playing the blame game, giving up, and not searching out new approaches is a decision that you have made, consciously or unconsciously, to let your marriage die.
Make the conscious decision to grow yourself and your marriage.
How To Grow Your Marriage
If you really want to grow your marriage, you will take a look at yourself and what you can do to make your marriage better. You will approach your marriage relationship with the same determination that you put forth in your career, fitness, finances, etc.
- Work To Be The Best You That You Can Be
- Go First
- Read About How To Be A Better Husband or Wife
- Educate Yourself By Investing In a Class, Workshop Or Retreat
- Get Yourself And Your Marriage A Christian Coach, Counselor or Marriage Minister
- Do Something Every Day to Make Your Marriage Better
The choice is yours: Are you growing your marriage relationship, or are you letting it die?
What do you have to say?
We love to hear from readers. Have you ever thought about the paradox that what keeps men from getting married will actually change when they make the commitment. Did you know that men become better, healthier and happier when they get married? What advice would you give to a man considering proposing? Do you know someone who you need to forward this article to?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2016. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.