Kim called to see if her and her husband would benefit from a Marriage Intensive. She seemed to be at the end of her rope. “Marriage is so complicated. I don’t know if Matt and I will ever be able to work it all out.”
After working with thousands of couples over the last twenty-five years, we believe spouses too often complicate marriage. One of the most powerful and effective thing a couple can do is simplify their marriage.
You may be complicating your marriage if you engage in one or more of the following items.
- You hoard. You keep track of all the wrongs of your spouse like a referee at an Olympic event. The slate may be wiped clean but the “slo mo video” is always around in your mind if anything needs to be reviewed.
- You duplicate. You never know when you might need a back up spouse if this marriage goes wrong. You hang on to people you once dated or good people you think might make a great spouse for you some day.
- You hide. You are not truthful with your spouse about what you need and assume they should know it.
- You save it. You store up financial resources that you keep hidden from your spouse just in case you ever need it.
- You assume. Instead of curiously asking, you assume that you know why your spouse did or did not do whatever it is that upset you.
- You add. When you feel disconnected, you add things, relationships, activities, commitments, etc. to your life.
- You collect. You add your imperfections in your self to a large pile of shame that reminds you of just how horrible of a person you are.
Simplifying your marriage can have huge results. You will find that your relationship is stronger. You will feel better about your marriage and your future. Your spouse will seem like they are treating you better. You will feel better about yourself and discover how beautiful and wonderful a person you truly are.
Simplify Your Marriage
You will simplify your marriage by having a strong belief in the very basic foundation of marriage. You simplify your marriage by changing what you believe about yourself and your marriage. Here are the core simple marriage truths that result in an uncluttered, minimized and uncomplicated marriage.
- You love God and God loves you! God thinks you are so valuable that He gave His Son for your freedom. In your heart of hearts, you love God, the source of all love. He put you and your spouse together. You committed to God in your vows. Live out your love of God. Talk with God and listen to what God has said in His Word.
- You love your spouse. You love your spouse imperfectly. Accept your imperfections and recommit to loving your spouse better with every day. Live out your love of your spouse with the most motivation you can muster. Love your spouse with all of your heart.
- Your spouse loves you. Your spouse loves you and shows their love imperfectly. You are lovable even in your imperfections. Forgive yourself and your spouse. Allow and accept your spouse’s love.
When you engage these simple marriage truths, you will come to find that you have no reason to keep lists of wrongs, back up plans, hidden secrets, and piles of shame around any longer. You can discard of them making room for joy, peace, comfort and love.
What do you have to say?
We love to hear from readers. Do you sometimes over complicate your marriage relationship? What are you doing to simplify your marriage? What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2016. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.