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	<title>Speakers, Authors &amp; Christian Marriage &amp; Relationship Coaches</title>
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		<title>Seven Itches In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/seven-itches-in-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/seven-itches-in-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Nov 2017 11:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2341</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[It’s common to confuse an itch with a scratch. But there is a huge difference between an itch and a scratch. An itch is a sensation that causes a desire to scratch. It is not action, but rather merely there. It is the desire to do or get something. A scratch, on the other hand, [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">It’s common to confuse an itch with a scratch. But there is a huge difference between an itch and a scratch.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/seven-itches-in-your-marriage/"><img width="760" height="508" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-760x508.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-760x508.jpg 760w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-300x200.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-768x513.jpg 768w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-518x346.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-250x166.jpg 250w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-82x55.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015-600x401.jpg 600w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_73229093_m-2015.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 760px) 100vw, 760px" /></a>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>An itch is a sensation that causes a desire to scratch.</strong> It is not action, but rather merely there. It is the desire to do or get something.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">A scratch, on the other hand, is action in response to an itch. <strong>The focus of the action of scratching is to eliminate the itch.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><div style="background-color:#eeeeee;border:1px solid #D6D6D6;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:20px;margin:8px 0 20px;padding:15px 20px;">A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out. Prov. 25:28 (MSG)</div></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span id="more-2341"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">When you scratch an itch does it usually go away, or get stronger?</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">The problem with scratching is that it usually makes the itch bigger, louder, stronger and more present. According to <a href="http://csi.wustl.edu" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Washington University’s Center for the Study of Itch</a>, scratching causes the brain to release your “happy hormone” serotonin, which actually makes the itch worse.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>When we scratch an itch, we engage it and the scratch actually makes the itch worse.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Here are seven itches (desires) that all marriages have.</p>
<ol style="text-align: justify;">
<li><strong>Fight to win the argument.</strong> Scratching this itch leaders to arguing beyond all reason including calling our spouses names and insulting them and people important to them.</li>
<li><strong>Withdraw, hide and ignore.</strong> When this itch is scratched, we move away from our spouse and any ability to resolve a conflict or become more emotionally connected. It becomes easier to do next time.</li>
<li><strong>Talk bad about our spouse to other people.</strong> Scratching this itch leads to “support” from others that separates us further from our spouse. Instead of doing the hard thing and having a conversation with our spouse about the issue, the “good” feeling we get from talking to a friend is the path we begin choosing over and over again.</li>
<li><strong>Keep a secret from our spouse.</strong> When this itch is scratched, we find that we need to increasingly lie to prevent our spouse from finding out. A secret in one area of our relationship makes it easier to keep secrets in other areas of our relationship. This “one little secret” affects how we relate to our spouse, even if we do not realize it.</li>
<li><strong>Put other people and things above our marriage.</strong> Scratching this itch puts a wedge between you and your spouse. Your recreational needs, family, new best friend, hobby, children, volunteer activities, etc. should play second fiddle to your marriage needs. Only your relationship with God should come before your marriage relationship.</li>
<li><strong>Blame someone else and do not accept responsibility.</strong> When you scratch this itch, it becomes the go to response to any issue brought up by your spouse. You didn’t do it. Someone else did. You wouldn’t have done it if your spouse hadn’t _________. You had no choice. Or you simply counter accuse your spouse with a laundry list of items or issues you would like them to change.</li>
<li><strong>Focus our sexual attention outside the relationship.</strong> Scratching the itch to look, gaze, click, etc. grows into an unfulfilling obsession leading to lack of sexual satisfaction in our marriage and infidelity at different levels.</li>
</ol>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;">&#8220;We must be able to say no to ourselves in the name of a higher yes.&#8221; – Abraham Joshua Heschel in Between God and Man.</p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Not scratching an itch takes self-control.</strong> It takes being able to say “no” to our desires in an effort to reach a higher “yes” to building the marriage relationship we desire. Not scratching requires putting up with discomfort and denying a temporary desire in order to achieve a long-term lifetime love. It means <strong>giving up a positive temporary feeling now in order to gain a longer lasting joy over time.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">As the Hebrew writer told us “At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely…” (Prov. 12:11 MSG).</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2341</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Six Things You Need To Do About Chore Problems In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/six-things-you-need-to-do-about-chore-problems-in-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/six-things-you-need-to-do-about-chore-problems-in-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Nov 2017 11:00:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before You Marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Resources for Couples]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2338</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[We do not know anyone who loves to do chores. But they have to get done. And with most couples who come to us for help, chores seems to be part of the discussion. One feels like the other hardly ever helps, or does not keep their end of the delegated chores or spends too [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">We do not know anyone who loves to do chores. But they have to get done. And with most couples who come to us for help, chores seems to be part of the discussion. One feels like the other hardly ever helps, or does not keep their end of the delegated chores or spends too much time doing them instead of connecting with their spouse. Sometimes the issue is that the one doing the chores is being regularly criticized instead of appreciated for doing them.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/six-things-you-need-to-do-about-chore-problems-in-your-marriage/"><img width="240" height="180" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/2211078505_a85690059c_m.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/2211078505_a85690059c_m.jpg 240w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/2211078505_a85690059c_m-82x62.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/2211078505_a85690059c_m-131x98.jpg 131w" sizes="(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px" /></a>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><div style="background-color:#eeeeee;border:1px solid #D6D6D6;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:20px;margin:8px 0 20px;padding:15px 20px;">“For each will have to bear his own load” Galations 6:5 ESV</div></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span id="more-2338"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If you are in a long-term committed relationship and you are arguing about chores, you are not alone. <a href="http://www.today.com/id/39267764/ns/today-today_health/t/time-truce-chore-wars-between-couples/#.VR_VmbqJlBk%20" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to numerous reports</a>, 1 in 5 couples have serious “dust ups” about chores in their marriage. And about two thirds of wives and more than half of husbands in one survey believe that they do many more chores than their spouse.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">We have found that one of the common reasons for relationship struggles around chores is that expectations around chores are not communicated. If you are frequently having your expectations around chores blown, make sure that you have <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2015/03/how-unspoken-expectations-are-keeping-you-from-the-marriage-you-want/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">communicated your expectations</a> to your spouse in a way that they understand what you are requesting.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Lisa and Dan were struggling so much in their marriage that they came in for a <a href="%20https://lifetogetherforever.com/save-your-marriage/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Marriage Intensive</a>. Dan felt like Lisa did not love him anymore and that he really did not matter to her because she seemed to never show any affection or companionship to him. Lisa felt like Dan did not appreciate her duties as a mother and wife in managing the household. When Dan was home in the evenings she was busy with chores and when it was bed time she was fatigued from a busy day of child rearing and house cleaning.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">As we began to discuss divvying up the chore list, Lisa interrupted with “I don’t believe in chore lists. I can get it all done.” We discussed how that was not working well in her life in her efforts to build the marriage she really wanted and encouraged her to try a new way for about 60-90 days with a chore chart. She agreed and their marriage continues to grow intentionally toward what they have always dreamed.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Although rare, we occasionally find couples who are stuck in the 1950s chore delegation system. They believe strongly that some chores are BLUE chores while others are PINK chores (Thanks Nate and Cassie Saffle for naming these). That is they believe men should do certain chores and women should do certain chores. The problem with that type of thinking is that no two spouses grew up in the same home. Our expectations about BLUE chores and PINK chores come from the homes where we were raised. So conflicts arise out of our expectations of the 1950’s chore delegation system.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">After moving through most of the major family life cycle phases, we believe the most important thing you can do to reduce your frustrations around chores is to negotiate and renegotiate the chore chart. What works in one phase of the family cycle may not work in another phase. Having hard conversations periodically about chores will help prevent your marriage from ending up like Lisa and Dan’s.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Follow these steps to decrease arguments around chores in your marriage:</p>
<ol style="text-align: justify;">
<li><strong>Schedule</strong> a time to discuss chores with your spouse.</li>
<li><strong>Complete the <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Chore-List-Discussion-Sheet2.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Chore List Discussion Sheet</a></strong> and ask your spouse to do the same before the time you are scheduled to meet. Notice that some chores listed may not apply to you while other chores that are important to you are not listed. Use the blank spaces to list chores that are unique to your life.</li>
<li><strong>Discover where you are in agreement</strong>.</li>
<li><strong>Negotiate where you are not in agreement</strong> with the goal of trying out a new chore list for a maximum of ninety days. Each of you should commit to chores that you do not want to do in order to reach a fair compromise in the chore list. Remember that your goal is to build the marriage you both want so <strong>keep the long-term goal in mind</strong> every step.</li>
<li><strong>Discuss expectations</strong> around individual chores, such as frequency and other expectations.</li>
<li><strong>Schedule when you will meet again to review</strong> how things are going. Usually it is the length of the temporary commitments.</li>
</ol>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Let us know how it works for you. And if you have any ideas around chores that might help other couples, share them here so others can read!</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2338</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Make this holiday great for your marriage!</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/make-this-holiday-great-for-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/make-this-holiday-great-for-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Nov 2017 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ministers and Pastors]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2319</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[Holidays are a stressful time for couples and families.  Negative patterns of interaction grow exponentially as almost all communication becomes focused on the tasks of the holiday.  Frequently feelings are hurt in the mix and there are long periods of negative emotions and energy. Make This Holiday Weekend Better Turn your relationships around during the [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Holidays are a stressful time for couples and families.  Negative patterns of interaction grow exponentially as almost all communication becomes focused on the tasks of the holiday.  Frequently feelings are hurt in the mix and there are long periods of negative emotions and energy.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/make-this-holiday-great-for-your-marriage/"><img width="707" height="535" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM.png" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM.png 707w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM-300x227.png 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM-518x392.png 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM-82x62.png 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM-131x98.png 131w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Screen-Shot-2015-11-28-at-2.54.43-PM-600x454.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 707px) 100vw, 707px" /></a>
<div style="background-color:#eeeeee;border:1px solid #D6D6D6;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:20px;margin:8px 0 20px;padding:15px 20px;">But now faith, hope, and love remain; these three virtues must characterize our lives. The greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13 (Voice)</div>
<p><strong>Make This Holiday Weekend Better</strong></p>
<p>Turn your relationships around during the holidays by implementing these tips for making memories!</p>
<p><span id="more-2319"></span></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Pray together</strong>.  Take a few moments every day to hear your spouse pray and pray with them.</li>
<li><strong>Be thankful</strong> for all the positive things about your spouse.  Make a list of what you appreciate about your spouse.   Share at least one of them with your spouse.</li>
<li><strong>Turn off</strong> or remove devices and television.  Focus on the people in front of you.  Ask open ended questions and help them tell stories about what is going on in their world.  Share a brief story about what is going on in yours.</li>
<li><strong>Be present.</strong>  Take time to check in with your self.  Are you fully aware of your immediate environment?  What do you see, hear, taste, smell and touch?  Try to refocus any thoughts of the past or future back to the present.</li>
<li><strong>Give</strong> those speaking to you <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/06/give-your-spouse-full-body-attention/"><strong>full body attention</strong></a>.  Turn toward them.  Look at their face when they are spooking.  Listen as if you might be tested later and ask questions that help them tell their story.</li>
<li><strong>Make time for just the two of you.</strong>  Take a walk.  Go for a drive.  Enjoy a cup of coffee away from everyone else.  Take a one-hour date and talk about your best memories together since this time last year.</li>
</ol>
<p>We pray God will bless you through this long holiday weekend with deep connection, peace and joy!</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2319</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Wishing You A Happy Thanksgiving!</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/wishing-you-a-happy-thanksgiving/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/wishing-you-a-happy-thanksgiving/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Nov 2017 11:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Free Resources for Couples]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2317</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[From our family to yours!  Happy Thanksgiving! &#160; &#160;]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>From our family to yours!  Happy Thanksgiving!</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/wishing-you-a-happy-thanksgiving/"><img width="640" height="416" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1.jpg 640w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1-300x195.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1-518x337.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1-82x53.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/15555273124_5d156c740d_z1-600x390.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /></a>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Before You Call A Divorce Lawyer</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/before-you-call-a-divorce-lawyer/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/before-you-call-a-divorce-lawyer/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Nov 2017 11:00:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before You Divorce]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2321</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I&#8217;M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD CALL YOU OR A DIVORCE LAWYER?&#8221; The Marriage Intensive was developed for couples whose relationship is on life support.  If you are wondering about the future of your relationship and are having trouble seeing a future with your spouse, the Marriage Intensive is the best chance for reviving your [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4>&#8220;I&#8217;M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD CALL YOU OR A DIVORCE LAWYER?&#8221;</h4>
<p>The Marriage Intensive was developed for couples whose relationship is on life support.  If you are wondering about the future of your relationship and are having trouble seeing a future with your spouse, the Marriage Intensive is the best chance for reviving your relationship.  You can feel hope.  If there is one cell within your body that believes there might be a sliver of hope, you need to give the Marriage Intensive a good try.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/before-you-call-a-divorce-lawyer/"><img width="211" height="250" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/couple-problem.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/couple-problem.jpg 211w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/couple-problem-82x97.jpg 82w" sizes="(max-width: 211px) 100vw, 211px" /></a>
<p>Our Marriage Intensives has been successful with couples who have&#8230;</p>
<ul>
<li>experienced recent or a history of infidelity, adultery, pornography addictions, sexual acting out;</li>
<li>experienced financial disaster due to poor decisions of one spouse and are in deep mistrust over financial matters and the families financial future;</li>
<li>been separated for periods of weeks to over a year and who have not had sexual intimacy in over five years;</li>
<li>been through repair attempts with marriage counselors, pastors and others that have not worked in the past, and many other situations.</li>
</ul>
<p><span id="more-2321"></span></p>
<p>Divorce is costly.  Staying stuck in an unhealthy marriage can be just as costly to the financial, physical, and familial health of the couple and family.  The average cost of a contested divorce today, including custody revisions, is between $20,000 and $50,000.  A retainer during the first visit with a competent family law attorney is usually more than the cost of trying our Marriage Intensive.</p>
<p>Usually one spouse in the marriage has had enough.  They feel pressured to make a decision between staying stuck in a bad marriage or filing for divorce.  There is another option.  Try making your marriage healthy be investing a fraction of the cost in our marriage saving Marriage Intensive.</p>
<p>Did you know that 11% of couples who divorce end up remarrying each other?  That is more than 1 in 10 couples who went through the emotionally charged and damaging divorce process who could have avoided it by first trying an effective marriage saving approach like our Marriage Intensive.</p>
<p>Do not make a permanent decision in what may be a temporary situation.  In one study, over 80% of couples who decided to stay together and not divorce during the worst problem season of their marriages later found their relationship happier and more satisfying than before the worst season ever occurred.  That means that your best days of marriage as a couple are likely on the other side of this worst season in your relationship.</p>
<p>The Marriage Intensive is a way to make sure you need a divorce before proceeding.  It is a way to come to a final decision, once and for all, to either move forward toward a new future together or to finalize the end of the marriage by beginning the divorce process.</p>
<h4>&#8220;WE TRIED COUNSELING AND IT DIDN&#8217;T WORK BUT THE LIFE TOGETHER FOREVER MARRIAGE INTENSIVE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE!&#8221;</h4>
<p>According to leading marriage counselors and researchers, evidenced based relationship and marriage counseling only works about half the time.  The traditional counseling model of an hour or two a week tends to take too long.  The pain the in the relationship that caused the call for help is not helped by adding pain frequently associated with the change process.  Couples too frequently give up before getting the change they came to counseling for in the first place.</p>
<p>That is the reason we developed our own Life Together Forever Marriage Intensive.  During our Marriage Intensive, you can expect to work through the same pain of change in a much shorter time span with a success rate of over eighty-five percent.  you and your spouse will spend the day with focused attention on your relationship.  There will be no more wondering about whether your spouse is actually working on his or her counseling needs.  You will know as you invest in uninterrupted energy and time on repairing, healing and restoring your relationship.  Life Together Forever Christian couples help is right for you.</p>
<h4>WHAT IS A MARRIAGE INTENSIVE?</h4>
<p>The Marriage Intensive is a series of facilitated training processes that focus on helping you get to the root of the pain in your marriage and learn what to do with it in order to move forward together.  One couple spends the day along with Roy Wooten and either Devra or one of our other trained facilitators.  No other couples are involved.  You and your marriage are the sole focus of the day long process.</p>
<p>You and your spouse will be asked a series of questions that will help you tell your story and become clear on what it is that you need and want from your relationship.  You will also have a chance to hear, with new ears, your spouse&#8217;s story and what he or she wants form the relationship.  Although the Marriage Intensive has very few teaching moments, couples report that they learn a great deal about their spouse and how to move forward.  The Marriage Intensive is not complete without a clear plan about how to move forward.</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2321</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>4 Most Important Moments In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/4-most-important-moments-in-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/4-most-important-moments-in-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Nov 2017 11:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Resources for Couples]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2323</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[Four moments seems like such a short amount of time.  Yet if you take advantage of the opportunities within these four moments, you will have the power to create the life together forever you have always wanted.   Four moments out of every day are the most powerful to moving toward each other, instead of against [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">Four moments seems like such a short amount of time.  Yet if you take advantage of the opportunities within these four moments, you will have the power to create the life together forever you have always wanted.   Four moments out of every day are the most powerful to moving toward each other, instead of against or away from each other.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/4-most-important-moments-in-your-marriage/"><img width="720" height="540" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage.jpg 720w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage-300x225.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage-518x389.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage-82x62.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage-131x98.jpg 131w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Thanksgiving-in-Marriage-600x450.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px" /></a>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>You improve your marriage by intentionally using the 4 most important relationship moments every day.</strong></p>
</blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span id="more-2323"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">These four moments are powerful in and of themselves.  They are affecting your marriage whether you are being intentional about them or not.   You are probably not using them intentionally, which probably means they are being wasted, neglected or negatively impacting your marriage.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">We challenge you to take advantage of the power within these four moments for one full week and watch what begins to happen in your spouse and within you… to strengthen a good marriage or repair a struggling marriage.</p>
<ol style="text-align: justify;">
<li><strong>First Waking Moment.</strong>  The first moment you are both awake has great power for how you greet the day.  The choices you make in welcoming your spouse to a new day can send them into their day feeling positive and connected.  We may not be able to control how we awaken, but we choose how we first connect with the one we are committed to doing life together forever with.</li>
<li><strong>Last Moment Before Departing.</strong>  Whether we are saying goodbye for a busy day as a stay-home spouse or a full day in the business world, how we send our spouse into their busy day can set them up for a day of positive feelings about our relationship and about us or a day of negative feelings about us.</li>
<li><strong>First Moment Reuniting</strong>.  No matter how crazy our day has been, the first moment we see our spouse after being apart for the day is powerful for brining our hearts closer together and reducing the stress of the day.  Decide before you see your spouse how you will great them as your reunite in the home.</li>
<li><strong>Last Waking Moment.</strong>  How we say goodnight has a great power of our feeling as we prepare for a good night’s rest.  Whatever the last moment is that both of you are awake at the same time is an opportunity to share your heart with each other.</li>
</ol>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If you are not in the practice of using these four moments intentionally, the first few attempts will seem strange and uncomfortable.  Couples who use these four moments intentionally to improve their relationship have a high degree of marital success compared to couples who do not.  And using these four moments intentionally does not require the consent of your spouse. You can take full use of these four moments unilaterally, without telling your spouse you are doing it, and they will significantly impact your marriage relationship.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Use these powerful four moments to connect.  Share. Hug.  Appreciate.  Kiss.  Praise. Touch. Bless. Embrace.  Listen. Snuggle.  Thank. Understand.  Wish well. Desire.  Laugh. Talk.  Join together. Love!</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Implement them for one full week and let us know how it worked out for you.</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2323</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Be Intentional and Create The Marriage You Want</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/be-intentional-and-create-the-marriage-you-want/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/be-intentional-and-create-the-marriage-you-want/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Nov 2017 11:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Resources for Couples]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2327</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[One of the most surprising findings of our work with thousands of couples over the years is that it only takes one spouse to change a marriage. One spouse can go outside of the marriage for something they have not created and developed in their marriage sabotaging any hope for their future together. One spouse [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">One of the most surprising findings of our work with thousands of couples over the years is that it only takes one spouse to change a marriage. One spouse can go outside of the marriage for something they have not created and developed in their marriage sabotaging any hope for their future together. One spouse can meet with a divorce industry attorney and file in courage. One spouse alone can end the marriage.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/be-intentional-and-create-the-marriage-you-want/"><img width="760" height="556" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-760x556.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-760x556.jpg 760w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-300x220.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-768x562.jpg 768w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-518x379.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-82x60.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015-600x439.jpg 600w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_2352330_m-2015.jpg 999w" sizes="(max-width: 760px) 100vw, 760px" /></a>
<blockquote><p>You have incredible power to create the change in your marriage you desire.</p></blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span id="more-2327"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">And one spouse can move their marriage from stuck to hopeful, from dysfunctional to healthy, from ungodly to what God always meant for us. Countless spouses who thought the end was near revived their marriage unilaterally. They began taking action to create the relationship they wanted without demanding their spouse change first.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">You may ask, “how does that work?” or “can that really happen?” Not only can it happen, it does. Not only can it work, but it in the overwhelming number of cases we have witnessed it works well. According to the most in depth research on healthy marriages by John Gottman, Ph.D. with over 3,000 couples and three decades of observation, one of the most important determinants of whether a couple will make it or not is whether or not they are doing the things we will recommend in the next several posts.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">And it is not a list of actions that you might think. There are no requirements to confront your spouse, install a tracking device, demand counseling services, have sex for 40 days in a row, pray more intently, or become a door mat to be walked upon. No, these are actions that when one spouse alone implements, their marriage and their spouse begins to change. The fire is rekindled and the flame is much hotter.   Couples who have lost that loving feeling have found it again in a new way. And the negative pattern of interacting becomes broken. Couples begin to fall into like and love with each other again.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">When you read these actions, you may think, “that is just common sense”. But if it were really common, you would already be doing them… and so would most other couples. But according to research, the couples who do them live life together forever while the couples who don’t begin living parallel lives, become lonely and eventually divorce.</p>
<blockquote><p>Your intentional relationship building activity will be effective when you become laser focused on your heart’s desire for a lifelong marriage with your spouse.</p></blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;">You must commit to doing these things with or without response from your spouse. The “tit-for-tat” approach where you only do for your spouse after they have done for you will not work. If you do for your spouse and then wait to see if they do for you, you will likely not be successful in changing your marriage. It will require a considerable amount of time in order to change a long pattern of negativity. You must commit to engage in these actions with our without your spouse’s responsiveness.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">You have incredible power to create the change in your marriage you desire. You do not have to tell your spouse to change. You do not have to “train” your spouse and change them (you really cannot change your spouse anyway). Your intentional relationship building activity will be effective when you become laser focused on your heart’s desire for a lifelong marriage with your spouse.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Follow this blog as we unveil specific intentional marriage activities over the next several posts that one spouse can unilaterally take that will change your marriage relationship for good.</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2327</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Get The Affection Back In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/get-the-affection-back-in-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/get-the-affection-back-in-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Nov 2017 11:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before You Marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2331</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[A recent call from a 32 year old wife in a five year old marriage.  &#8220;Why is it that my husband showed me a lot of PDA (public display of affection) in our beginning of our relationship but is reluctant to do it now?&#8221; The most powerful sex organ is the brain. Within the brain [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">A recent call from a 32 year old wife in a five year old marriage.  &#8220;Why is it that my husband showed me a lot of PDA (public display of affection) in our beginning of our relationship but is reluctant to do it now?&#8221;</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/get-the-affection-back-in-your-marriage/"><img width="407" height="640" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5882852894_a66cc05b9f_z.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5882852894_a66cc05b9f_z.jpg 407w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5882852894_a66cc05b9f_z-191x300.jpg 191w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5882852894_a66cc05b9f_z-254x400.jpg 254w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/5882852894_a66cc05b9f_z-82x129.jpg 82w" sizes="(max-width: 407px) 100vw, 407px" /></a>
<p style="text-align: justify;">The most powerful sex organ is the brain. Within the brain we are finding the answer to this very important question that is a common problem within most relationships.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><span id="more-2331"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Our brain secretes a “chemical cocktail of love” that leads to a high level of romantic feelings and behaviors. The cocktail consists of dopamine, nor-epinephrine, phenylethylamin and oxytocin which frequently is mistaken for love but is really infatuation…like puppy-love, lust, or “the flutters”.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">During this part of our relationship we frequently do not think clearly as our emotions are fully engaged. We will frequently fail to see our partner&#8217;s less than attractive qualities… you know the ones that your sister, mother or best friends tell you about. Our logical, reasoning and rational part of the brain plays second string to the emotional part of our brain.   This leads to poor financial and relational decisions.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">We also frequently have a increased libido and our romantic feelings are high. We will experience negative emotions, even pain, when we are not around our partner for a long period of time during this period.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">It is interesting that most people have a window of between 6-24 months where the brain is flooded with these emotions. What happens at that point is that <strong>the chemicals in our brain actually reset to baseline levels</strong>. And for many of us, we wonder if we have “fallen out of love” or “picked the wrong one”.   When the brain resets, the thinking, logical and thinking part of the brain takes the lead again and we begin to see traits and behaviors in our partner that we have never noticed before.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">One of the sad things about people who are clueless about the chemical cocktail of love is that they frequently end their relationship when the brain’s chemicals reset. In a short period of time, the brain is reactivated as they meet a new potential mate. They end up moving through a series of relationships never finding the “right one”.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">The reason your spouse is less affectionate than when you first met is probably because the chemical cocktail of love is not activated at this time. <strong>It is probably not you or that he doesn’t love you, but you can do something about it, to reactivate that loving feeling.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Researchers tell us that the following activities can bring back the loving feeling and reactivate the chemical cocktail of love with your spouse.</p>
<ul style="text-align: justify;">
<li>Having regular or frequent sex</li>
<li>Do hobbies/<a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/04/make-it-better-by-doing-it-together/">activities</a> together</li>
<li><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/07/date-night-conversation-starters/">Date</a> regularly</li>
<li>Open up and <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/07/the-daily-check-in/">share</a> feelings</li>
<li>Get rid of negative feelings anywhere in your life through forgiveness</li>
<li>Use <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/03/speaking-the-truth-to-your-spouse/">“Speaking and Hearing the Truth”</a> to talk through conflict areas</li>
<li>Guard special time weekly just for the two of you</li>
<li>Initiate <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2016/11/touch-your-spouse-more/">affection</a></li>
<li>Be open to experience <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2015/10/does_your_date_life_need_/">new things</a> together</li>
<li>Take care of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/07/take-care-of-your-self-for-a-better-marriage/">health</a>…sleep and eat well</li>
<li><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/05/attempt-to-connect/">Know them</a>. Learn their newest list of favorites.</li>
<li>Support their <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/01/simplify-your-marriage/">decisions</a></li>
<li>Talk well about them to others.</li>
<li>Tell them what you are <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/08/are-you-appreciating-your-spouse/">thankful</a> for.</li>
<li>Ask for <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/10/getting-help-for-your-marriage/">help</a> if you need it…seek a veteran couple of marriage, marriage mentor, pastor, or counselor if it may be helpful.</li>
</ul>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Let us know what you have done to turn back on the chemical cocktail of love.</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">
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				<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">2331</post-id>	</item>
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		<title>Dashed Expectations In Your Marriage</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/dashed-expectations-in-your-marriage/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/dashed-expectations-in-your-marriage/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Nov 2017 11:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before You Marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creating The Marriage You Want]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2334</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[It is amazing to us how many times husbands and wives are sitting in our offices and learn for the first time something about their spouse. Some have been married years and never knew that when she does this, he feels that… or that it always makes her feel the same negative way when he [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is amazing to us how many times husbands and wives are sitting in our offices and learn for the first time something about their spouse. Some have been married years and never knew that when she does this, he feels that… or that it always makes her feel the same negative way when he does that.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/11/dashed-expectations-in-your-marriage/"><img width="760" height="507" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-760x507.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-760x507.jpg 760w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-300x200.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-768x513.jpg 768w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-518x346.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-250x166.jpg 250w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-82x55.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015-600x401.jpg 600w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Depositphotos_99675748_m-2015.jpg 999w" sizes="(max-width: 760px) 100vw, 760px" /></a>
<p>It makes sense to us that blown expectations is a huge part of the negative pattern of interactions that couples in struggle find themselves experiencing. One of the biggest “aha”s for us in our work with couples over the years is the huge number of times that the offended spouse has never communicated the expectation to the offending spouse. That is, when one spouse expects the other to do something that has never been communicated and is emotionally frustrated, hurt or sad when it does not happen.</p>
<div style="background-color:#eeeeee;border:1px solid #D6D6D6;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:20px;margin:8px 0 20px;padding:15px 20px;">Unspoken expectations are unhealthy expectations.</div>
<p><span id="more-2334"></span></p>
<p>When we make a commitment in marriage to each other, we bring with us expectations about how we will do life together. Our expectations are developed over a lifetime of watching how others do life… primarily our parents and our family of origin. We usually have expectations about who should do what and how it should be done in a number of areas of living including:</p>
<ul>
<li>Chores</li>
<li>Budget</li>
<li>Sex</li>
<li>Parenting</li>
<li>In-law Relationships</li>
<li>Faith</li>
<li>Friend Involvement</li>
<li>Recreation</li>
<li>Career</li>
</ul>
<p>We bring these expectations into our marriage with us. But once we are married, we too frequently stop getting to know each other like we began in the early days of our relationship. Our communication about our thoughts on key issues about how we should engage each other and our world together is non-existent. Then when we begin to live life together and our spouse fails to live up to our expectation in one or more areas, instead of talking about it, we usually feel hurt, sad, and/or angry. And we think it is all our spouse’s fault.</p>
<p>Even if we are able to get it all figured out early in our relationship, we frequently find ourselves struggling again later in our marriage. We are not the exact same person that our spouse married. We are more mature. Life has taught us a few more lessons. Strongly held opinions and expectations we once fought for have been replaced with wiser expectations. And we sometimes fail to think about how our spouse has also changed. So we end up being frustrated at our spouse’s failure to meet our expectations.</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Not communicating your expectations about how to do life together sets your spouse up in “no-win” situations.</strong></p></blockquote>
<p>We encourage couples at any stage of their relationship to do the following:</p>
<ol>
<li>Have a<a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2016/01/is-your-marriage-worth-having-a-courageous-conversation/"> courageous conversation</a> about the issue. Use your communication skills to <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/10/helping-fixing-is-hurting-your-marriage/">listen</a> to your spouse’s expectations around the issue as well as share your own.</li>
<li>Seek to find a <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2016/08/lose-the-yous-and-use-the-is/">win-win</a> solution. Where are you close? What can you agree on? Is there a way to meet each of your goals.</li>
<li><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2016/08/when-my-spouses-world-view-and-dreams-are-different-than-mine/">Compromise</a> to find a temporary solution. Try our your compromised solution for a time period to which you both agree. We like 30, 60, 90 day commitments.</li>
<li>Meet again to review how the trial period went.</li>
</ol>
<p>Your spouse will never be able to meet your expectations if you do not share them. We hope you will try it out and let us know how it went. We are always looking for great ideas to help couples. If you have a topic or set of advice you would like to share, please let us know about it.</p>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Five Scary Spouses</title>
		<link>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/10/five-scary-spouses/</link>
		<comments>https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/10/five-scary-spouses/#respond</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Oct 2017 11:00:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>roylovesdev</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Before You Marry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Free Resources for Couples]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://lifetogetherforever.com/?p=2312</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[It’s that time of year again when our doorbell rings and children of all ages hold out a bag asking for “trick or treats”. Television sets are filled with “spooky” movies and “haunted” houses. Stores are packed with cases and cases of candy. Over the years working with thousands of couples in our Life Together [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It’s that time of year again when our doorbell rings and children of all ages hold out a bag asking for “trick or treats”. Television sets are filled with “spooky” movies and “haunted” houses. Stores are packed with cases and cases of candy.</p><a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2017/10/five-scary-spouses/"><img width="634" height="384" src="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple.jpg 634w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple-300x182.jpg 300w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple-518x314.jpg 518w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple-82x50.jpg 82w, https://lifetogetherforever.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Halloween-Costume-Couple-600x363.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 634px) 100vw, 634px" /></a>
<p>Over the years working with thousands of couples in our <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/marriage-help/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Life Together Forever Retreats</a> and our <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/help-now/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Marriage Intensives</a>, we have witness some of the most challenging spouses. So here is out list of the scariest spouses in marriages today.</p>
<p><strong>The Five Scariest Spouses</strong></p>
<p><span id="more-2312"></span></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Dictator/Tyrant</strong> – This spouse makes all the decisions. Everything seems to have a “my way or the highway” undertone to it. Over 80% of marriages where one spouse makes most of the decisions ends in divorce.  This spouse can easily make their marriage <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/2015/03/how-to-know-if-you-are-in-a-dangerous-relationship/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">dangerous</a>.</li>
<li><strong>Judge, Jury and Executioner</strong> – This spouse could also be called the Ready, Fire, Aim spouse. They read the situation before ever having any conversation. They unilaterally determine motive. And before gathering information, they act on their (usually errant) belief about the situation which causes a perpetuation of the problems. When the other spouse shares their side of the story, this spouse refuses to accept it outright.</li>
<li><strong>Chronic Blamer</strong> – This spouse has almost never done anything wrong. They have a hard time accepting responsibility for anything. When an issue is to brought to their attention, the counter attack can be huge and damaging. This spouse is never willing to work on themselves or try to become a better person because all of the relationship problems are the other spouse’s problem.</li>
<li><strong>Door Mat</strong> – This spouse never disagrees and stuffs every negative thought about their spouse and every negative feeling about their spouse’s actions and words. This spouse seems to be easy to get along with yielding at every turn. Over time, the negative feelings and thoughts become like a giant beach ball that is impossible to keep down under the water. At some point it all explodes usually causing great pain to their life and the lives of those they love the most.</li>
<li><strong>Myopic Wanderer</strong> – This spouse has eyes only for their world. It is as if they are going through life with blinders on. They only see their world as it impacts them. They are fully unaware of their spouse’s needs, hopes, goals and desires. Their self focused actions cause trust issue in every part of the relationship. The other spouse is lonely, unheard, unappreciated and tired. The other spouse usually feels like they have a child to raise instead of a spouse.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Get The Help You Need</strong></p>
<p>If you find yourself on the list, either as one of the scariest or married to one of the scariest, we pray that you will get the help you need. We always recommend that you find competent Christian professionals to help. Talk to your Pastor. Call and set up an appointment with a Christian counselor or coach. Meet with a veteran marriage couple about how they make it work. <strong>Invest in your marriage before it is too late.</strong> If we can help you, contact us at 281-949-8115.</p>
<div style="background-color:#eeeeee;border:1px solid #D6D6D6;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:20px;margin:8px 0 20px;padding:15px 20px;">&#8216;Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.&#8217; Ephesians 5:21 (NiV)</div>
<p><strong>What do you have to say?</strong></p>
<p>We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?</p>
<p>This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of <a href="https://lifetogetherforever.com/secret/">“The Secret to a Lifetime Love”</a>. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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