Donna complained that her “so called” Christian husband was a “hypocrite”. Her heart was hard and critical because she did not experience him as the spiritual leader in the home that she had always expected. When asked about how her frustration was impacting her and how she interacted with him, she shared that she does not want to be around him, she has long periods where she does not like him, and she has little interest in being physically intimate with him.
We challenged her to take action in a number of areas in her marriage. We encouraged her to have the hard conversations with him that she has been avoiding, to find one thing to appreciate about him daily, to take advantage of the four most important moments of the day, to do the things they used to do that helped them first like and then love each other, and to take time out of her day every day to pray for him.
After some discussion, she made several commitments. We met again once week for several weeks by phone and she began to report about how her husband was changing. She was amazed by how he was changing, without ever talking to us. According to her, he was stepping up to be the leader in the family for which she had been waiting. When we asked about what made the difference, she said, “I began praying for him every day. I think God was changing me as much as He was changing him”.
We have witnessed this before in our lives and in the lives of countless spouses with whom we have worked. There is something incredibly powerful about praying for your spouse. When you pray for your spouse:
- God changes your heart. Consistently praying for your spouse brings you new eyes through which to see the situation. As you voice your prayers to God, your heart turns toward your spouse. (I Cor 10:24; James 5:16; Matt 5:44-45)
- God changes your marriage. Be ready and expect change. Accessing the ultimate power source in the universe to help your marriage is dangerous if you really do not want change. It may not change the marriage the way you want but it will change the marriage toward one that God can bless. (John 15:7; John 14:13; Phil 4:6)
- God changes your relationship with Him. There is no way to talk to God every day and not move toward Him. As you speak your prayer, He will also be speaking to you and bringing you closer to Him. (Phil 4:6,7; John 15:7; 1 John 1:9; 1 Peter 3:12)
If you do not know what or how to pray for your spouse, please contact us as we would love to work with you. We challenge you to pray for your spouse for 30 days and let us know what happened to you and your relationship!
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.