(This is part 1 of a 2 part series on blessing. See Part 2 here)
Diane and William were in a tough spot. Only six years into their marriage, and neither could see a reason for continuing to stay married together. Diane reached out to the Pastor who married them and he recommended that they come to a Marriage Intensive with us as soon as possible.
They were in a long pattern of negative interaction. Hearing them describe their situation was like watching a ping pong ball bounce back in forth in the middle of a world championship ping pong match. The zingers were swift and unable to be predicted. Before one could complete their attack, the other would start with a rebound attack. Finally Roy said, “Enough! My house, my rules.”
Diane and William were in a “blessing famine.” They had a long history of absence of blessing. Except for a few hours, the only time in their six years of marriage where they blessed each other was during the wedding ceremony. Their souls were starving to be blessed.
Signs Your Marriage Is Starving From A Blessing Famine
Diane and William had been living a life devoid of blessing. How do you know if you might be living in a marriage than needs more blessing? Here are the tell-tell signs:
- You struggle to think anything but positive thoughts when you are with them.
- You assign the worst possible motives for any and all actions by your spouse.
- You find yourself talking bad about your spouse to other people.
- When you are not with spouse, you spend energy talking about the last negative interaction with them.
- You have difficulty finding anything you are thankful for about them.
What Do You Mean By Blessing?
For most of us, when we hear the word blessing, we think about a prayer before a meal, or some compliment someone says to us. In the Bible, blessing and cursing are two postures toward others. We are either approaching a person in blessing or in cursing.
According to John Ortberg (Soul Keeping), “blessing is not just a word. Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another… We are creatures with wills, and in every encounterwith other people we will what is good for them, or we fail to do so: we will what is bad.” Our approach, or posture, toward others is always either a blessing or a cursing.
A blessing involves all of who we are as individuals. To deeply bless at the soul level, we must see into the heart of the other person and give fully of ourselves to feed into them. We must think the blessing, feel the giving of the blessing, and will the blessing..
Our souls desperately need blessing. We are bult by God to seek it out. In its absence, our souls do not function properly resulting in a cursing posture toward almost everyone around us. Withholding blessing actually curses them.
You are Your Spouse’s Most Powerful Blesser and Curser
The closer you are to a person, the greater your power to bless or curse someone. The more you bless, the closer you are and the deeper your connection.
So bless. Bless those around you. Be a blessing. Give blessing without expectation of receipt. Accept your spouse’s blessing when they give it.
Part 2 How To Bless And Be The Blessing Your Marriage Needs Most
What do you have to say?
We love to hear from readers. What do you think about the definition of blessing? What other signs would you add to the list that your marriage needs more blessing? Do you believe you are your spouse’s most powerful blesser?
This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at www.LifeTogetherForever.com © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at Secret@LifeTogetherForever.com.