Jesus, Why Have You Left Me In This Hopeless Marriage?

Marriage is hard.

Relationships are difficult.

Even Christian marriages are challenging.

Struggles are a part of the marathon that is life together forever.

If you call Jesus your Savior, then you may find yourself blaming Him. “Why have you left me in this hopeless marriage?” Feeling abandoned, alone and unheard of is common for all people when they are in pain. Jesus was familiar with pain, yes even the kind of pain you are experiencing now.

Jesus is with you in this season of your marriage. 

Our Savior knows what it is like to feel the pain you feel in your marriage. And He made promises to you about this season of your marriage.

Indeed, who would ever believe it? Who would possibly accept what we’ve been told? Who has witnessed the awesome power and plan of the Eternal in action? Out of emptiness he came, like a tender shoot from rock-hard ground. He didn’t look like anything or anyone of consequence—he had no physical beauty to attract our attention. So he was despised and forsaken by men, this man of suffering, grief’s patient friend. As if he was a person to avoid, we looked the other way; he was despised, forsaken, and we took no notice of him. Yet it was our suffering he carried, our pain and distress, our sick-to-the-soul-ness. We just figured that God had rejected him, that God was the reason he hurt so badly. But he was hurt because of us; he suffered so. Our wrongdoing wounded and crushed him. He endured the breaking that made us whole. The injuries he suffered became our healing. We all have wandered off, like shepherdless sheep, scattered by our aimless striving and endless pursuits; The Eternal One laid on him, this silent sufferer, the sins of us all. And in the face of such oppression and suffering—silence. Not a word of protest, not a finger raised to stop it. Like a sheep to a shearing, like a lamb to be slaughtered, he went—oh so quietly, oh so willingly. Oppressed and condemned, he was taken away.  From this generation, who was there to complain? Who was there to cry “Foul”? He was, after all, cut off from the land of the living, Smacked and struck, not on his account, because of how my people (my people!) Disregarded the lines between right and wrong. They snuffed out his life. And when he was dead, he was buried with the disgraced in borrowed space (among the rich), Even though he did no wrong by word or deed. Isaiah 53:1-10 (VOICE)


Jesus made promises for you during this season of your marriage.

Jesus’ promises for you in the worst times of your marriage:

  • You are not alone, He is with you (Matthew 28:20).
  • He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
  • His peace is available to you at all times (John 14:27)

There is hope for you and your marriage.

Unless your marriage is dangerous, here are some reasons why we believe there is hope for your Christian marriage:

  1. Jesus loves your spouse more than you do. He knew your spouse before you were born and gave Himself up sacrificially because He loves your spouse and you so much.
  2. If your spouse is a Christian, Jesus has already moved your spouse’s worst moments as far away as the east is from the west. He has already forgiven your spouse and you.
  3. If you are feeling crucified, you are hanging on a cross that was not meant for you. Your pity party, victim mentality is a place your spouse did not give to you, you found it and put yourself there.
  4. What you and your spouse went through earlier in life that seems to be the cause of your struggles was not caused by God. God did not cause your spouse’s wounded-ness, but He can redeem it and use it for good.
  5. You are not strong enough to handle it on your own. God built you to need Him. Jesus is with you, waiting on you to call to Him for His strength.
  6. This is a season that will pass. There is a time for everything under heaven and this rough period in your marriage will likely change over time.
  7. You can create the marriage that you really want. You cannot control your spouse, but you can take unilateral action to create the marriage you really want.

What if I am not a Christian?

You may be reading this and thinking that it does not apply to you because you are not a Christian. We want you to know that this article is for you. You can become a Christian, without all the things you dislike about Christian people you see on television or have experienced in your life.

Please contact us ASAP if you have any interest in learning more about becoming a Christian.   We want to help you understand more deeply what it is and is not.  Please call 281-949-8115 or email God’s promises are available for everyone. He wants to bless you and your marriage.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers.  If you are a longtime Christian and been through struggles in your marriage, what advice do you have for younger Christian spouses?  Does it help knowing that Jesus is with you in the tough spots of your marriage and that you are not alone?  What would you add to the list of reasons why there is hope for your marriage?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at © Roy and Devra Wooten 2015. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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