As a society we are failing at relationships!
As a society, there is no other conclusion to make. Relationships as a whole in America are unhealthy and unsuccessful. According to the data, the divorce rate has plateaued at 50%. That is somewhat deceiving because around 70% of first time marriages actually make it. The older set bends these numbers upward.
Less than half of second time marriages actually make it. And about a third of third time marriages make it.
Taking a vacation can be hard. Taking a kid-less vacation can be even more difficult.
According to Leigh Weingus’ The Huffington Post article, Way Too Many Americans Took ZERO Vacation Days in 2014, “…almost 42% of Americans didn’t take any vacation days in 2014.” If you are one of the many who do not take vacation days you are missing out on some important effects of vacations:
A recent call from a 32 year old wife in a five year old marriage. “Why is it that my husband showed me a lot of PDA (public display of affection) in our beginning of our relationship but is reluctant to do it now?”
The most important sex organ is the brain. And within the brain we are finding the answer to this very important question that is a common problem within most relationships.
Fred and Sheila had called to discuss having a Marriage Intensive with us. She had recently contacted an attorney about a divorce. “I just can’t take it anymore. He is always mad. He never has any time for me. I do everything for him and all I want is for him to notice me and want to be with me. He is always mad at me and I don’t know why.”
We have dear friends who are lifelong Dallas Cowboy fans. In good times and bad, they watch every game religiously. They spend hundreds of dollars on Dallas Cowboy branded merchandise, home décor and clothing. One of the first outfits their children wore as newborns was a Dallas Cowboy onesie. Their cars have Cowboys bumper stickers. Their work areas and home has Cowboys décor. Everyone they know knows that they are Cowboys fans. They are definitely Dallas Cowboy fanatics.
According to Merriam –Webster Dictionary, the word fan is “probably short for fanatic” and first appeared in 1682. A fan is “an enthusiastic devotee” and “an ardent admirer or enthusiast.”
Love is patient; love is kind.
Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag, or strut about.
There’s no arrogance in love;
it’s never rude, crude, or indecent
—it’s not self-absorbed.
Love isn’t easily upset.
Love doesn’t tally wrongs
or celebrate injustice;
but truth—yes, truth—is love’s delight!
Love puts up with anything and everything that comes along;
it trusts, hopes, and endures no matter what.
Love will never become obsolete.
But now faith, hope, and love remain;
these three virtues must characterize our lives.
The greatest of these is love.
I Cor 13 4-8a, 13.
The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.
No one likes to be told when they are not doing it right. They do not like it when someone points out what they just did wrong. It punches their buttons when anyone tells them that they are wrong about something.
And when you hear it from my spouse it seems even more powerfully button pushing.
“I thought you said you were going to pay that bill?”
“When are you going to get that fixed like you said you would?”
“Are you really going to wear that?”
Cindy had set up a coaching call based upon the referral from her Pastor. She arrived to the session with a friend whom she insisted join us in session. Cindy had brought her friend to verify what she was telling us about how horrible of a husband she has. “My pastor, all of my friends, including a counselor friend of mine, agrees with me that he is the problem in our marriage.”
Every once in a while a book and movie catches our culture’s attention in such a way that social and traditional media bombards us with it. Such is the situation with the book and now movie release of the popular “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
It is amazing to consider how it is that God made us to be so attracted to people who are different from us. In fact, most of our early attraction includes a decision to find people who are not like the parts of ourselves we least like. Back in the beginning of your relationship, the ways in which your spouse was different from you were interesting. You were curious and somewhat excited to discover why they are like that and to see how they are in other areas. You liked what was different than you in your future spouse.
