As a society we are failing at relationships!
As a society, there is no other conclusion to make. Relationships as a whole in America are unhealthy and unsuccessful. According to the data, the divorce rate has plateaued at 50%. That is somewhat deceiving because around 70% of first time marriages actually make it. The older set bends these numbers upward.
Less than half of second time marriages actually make it. And about a third of third time marriages make it.
There are huge differences between men and women when discussing the concept of emotional intimacy. To most women, it usually means sharing secret things of the heart, talking things over, and affection such as cuddling.
There was a long running beer commercial where a man was alone out in nature, fishing or hunting, and as he opened his drink he would proclaim, “It just doesn’t get any better than this.” But most men would disagree. It could get a lot better, if his wife would join him and enthusiastically share in the activity.
Men are bent toward action and they feel emotionally connected when doing things together. Husbands feel closest to their wives when they are working together on landscaping, going to see a movie, enjoying a recreational activity. According to William F. Harley Jr., (His Needs Her Needs) “Spending recreational time with his spouse is second only to sex for the typical husband. “
Couples Who Play Together Stay Together
He lives!
23 So the whole council got up and took Jesus to Pilate. 2 They brought accusations against Him.
Sanhedrin: We have observed this man leading our nation astray. He even forbade us to pay our taxes to Caesar. He claims to be the Anointed One and a King Himself.
Pilate: 3 Are You the King of the Jews?
Jesus: It’s as you say.
Pilate (to the chief priest and crowd): 4 I find this man guilty of no crime.
Sanhedrin (growing more intense): 5 He has been stirring up discontent among the people all over Judea. He started up in Galilee, and now He’s brought His brand of trouble all the way to Jerusalem!
Pilate: 6 Just a minute. Is this man a Galilean?
Donna complained that her “so called” Christian husband was a “hypocrite”. Her heart was hard and critical because she did not experience him as the spiritual leader in the home that she had always expected. When asked about how her frustration was impacting her and how she interacted with him, she shared that she does not want to be around him, she has long periods where she does not like him, and she has little interest in being physically intimate with him.
What is the difference between couples who make their marriage work and those who don’t. In this book, We share what wehave learned working with thousands of families and couples. This book can be used be one person in the relationship, but is best used as a couple. It has been written for couples of all ages and stages. It has helped couples say what they need to say. The struggle in communication in which so many couples find themselves feels like a very stuck place. Applying the principles in this book and completing the exercises (alone or together) significantly impacts couples relationships positively.
“Every Couple should read this” – Kari Ann
“Roy and Devra do a great job of simplifying how to communicate better with your spouse and live free from barriers that damage marriage. Thank you Roy and Devra for living an example for other marriages and sharing with us new tools.” – Byron
“There are few books out there that really help you, and seem to really want to help you with your problem (relationships in this case) and this book delivers.” – Monika
“What a great book for improving communication in your marriage! The information covered in this book is easy to relate too. At times, I felt as if they had stood in my living room and heard the arguments. I never felt judged or shamed. Positive and encouraging to husbands and wives! A rare find.” – Tia
“This book can be your go-to guide on how to fix, restore, or improve your marriage or relationship. All married couples should have it!!!! Very helpful!” – Austin
“This book contains a plethora of wisdom about how to deal with inevitable conflict in marriage. Concise and practical, it is well worth the short time required to read it, and a great reference when preparing for important conversations in any relationship. Very insightful and compelling!” – J. Wag
“A very truthful and realistic book” – ZRM
“This book will help you in communicating better in your relationship” – Dave Lappin
Leo did not know what to do. He has slipped into a brief affair. When Sylvia discovered it, he lied and tried to cover it up. Two weeks later he broke and confessed all. She was devastated. Thankfully she contacted us for a Marriage Intensive.
Trust break of any kind are significant traumas to the relationship. The natural reaction is a long period where nothing the betraying spouse does or says is accepted in truth. In fact, the betrayed spouse reviews all the memories of the relationship to date, questioning whether the betraying spouse was lying all along.
The Truth About Rebuilding Trust
Betrayer’s Trust Building Responsibilities
We are so excited to be a part of a training marriage ministers, counselors and marriage champions, just like you, across Texas this Spring.
Come join us and learn how to work with couples. You will be taught how to teach our Life Together Forever couples curriculum for pre-marital and married couples. If you complete the training, you will also receive certification in the curriculum. The curriculum is approved in the Twogether In Texas program and you will be allowed to give away certificates for free marriage licenses after trained.
Attendees will also receive a free copy of our Church Small Group Curriculum called, “The Secret To Lifetime Love” as well as receive a copy of our book, “Four Minutes to Revolutionize Your Relationship”.
In partnership with Esteem Marriage and Twogether In Texas, we will be across Texas on the following dates, 9AM – 5PM:
To learn more and to register, contact [email protected] or go to Esteem Marriage.
It was great to be at the Texas Ministry Conference again this year. It has become like a family reunion for us reconnecting with friends across Texas who are Pastors, ministers and church staff.
A young lady in her late twenties who has never been married approached us to ask a serious question. “Why is love so important?” She went on to explain that she has been in a few developing relationships but has yet to find the man she believes God has in store for her. Yet she finds herself wishing that she did not have a desire to marry as she struggles with loneliness which leads to sadness and frustration.
We believe the answer has its roots in our origins.
Cathy was in a perpetual cycle of marriage destruction. She disliked her husband and blamed him for her unhappiness. Almost every day, she left her home to hangout drinking with friends.
Her husband and children were telling her how unimportant they felt. But she continued to blame her husband for her unhappiness. When he complained about her drinking, or absence from his and the kids’ lives, she struck back accusing him of being “emotionally abusive and controlling.”
Cathy is not the only one. In our marriage intensives over the years we have witnessed both men and women in such a destructive pattern.
When A Behavior Is Hurting Your Marriage
Whether it is drinking or some other behavior, you may not be aware of it being a problem. Chances are that you do not think of the behavior as a problem. How can you tell if what you are doing is hurting yourself and your marriage.
Here are some tell-tale signs that what you are doing is a problem.
1 Around the time of Elizabeth’s amazing pregnancy and John’s birth, the emperor in Rome, Caesar Augustus, required everyone in the Roman Empire to participate in a massive census— 2 the first census since Quirinius had become governor of Syria. 3 Each person had to go to his or her ancestral city to be counted.
4-5 Mary’s fiancé Joseph, from Nazareth in Galilee, had to participate in the census in the same way everyone else did. Because he was a descendant of King David, his ancestral city was Bethlehem, David’s birthplace. Mary, who was now late in her pregnancy that the messenger Gabriel had predicted, 6 accompanied Joseph. While in Bethlehem, she went into labor 7 and gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped the baby in a blanket and laid Him in a feeding trough because the inn had no room for them.
8 Nearby, in the fields outside of Bethlehem, a group of shepherds were guarding their flocks from predators in the darkness of night. 9 Suddenly a messenger of the Lord stood in front of them, and the darkness was replaced by a glorious light—the shining light of God’s glory. They were terrified!
Messenger: 10 Don’t be afraid! Listen! I bring good news, news of great joy, news that will affect all people everywhere. 11 Today, in the city of David, a Liberator has been born for you! He is the promised Anointed One, the Supreme Authority! 12 You will know you have found Him when you see a baby, wrapped in a blanket, lying in a feeding trough.
13 At that moment, the first heavenly messenger was joined by thousands of other messengers—a vast heavenly choir. They praised God.
14 Heavenly Choir: To the highest heights of the universe, glory to God!
And on earth, peace among all people who bring pleasure to God!
15 As soon as the heavenly messengers disappeared into heaven, the shepherds were buzzing with conversation.
Shepherds: Let’s rush down to Bethlehem right now! Let’s see what’s happening! Let’s experience what the Lord has told us about!
16 So they ran into town, and eventually they found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in the feeding trough. After they saw the baby, 17 they spread the story of what they had experienced and what had been said to them about this child. 18 Everyone who heard their story couldn’t stop thinking about its meaning. 19 Mary, too, pondered all of these events, treasuring each memory in her heart.
20 The shepherds returned to their flocks, praising God for all they had seen and heard, and they glorified God for the way the experience had unfolded just as the heavenly messenger had predicted.
(VOICE)
The Voice Bible Copyright © 2012 Thomas Nelson, Inc. The Voice™ translation © 2012 Ecclesia Bible Society All rights reserved.