Marry For Life!

As a society we are failing at relationships!

As a society, there is no other conclusion to make. Relationships as a whole in America are unhealthy and unsuccessful.  According to the data, the divorce rate has plateaued at 50%. That is somewhat deceiving because around 70% of first time marriages actually make it. The older set bends these numbers upward.

Less than half of second time marriages actually make it. And about a third of third time marriages make it.

We are a little like duct tape. Every time you stick it, pull it off and try to stick it again, it sticks less. Every time you try to stick it again, it looses some of it’s stickiness. Relationships are the same way.

And the younger set, under 35, are marrying less. They prefer cohabitation (playing married). Over 80% of cohabitations do not end in marriage. And the average cohabitator attempts cohabitation 2 plus times before trying marriage. We are scared to see what that will do to the divorce rate long term.

And the dating world is full of unhealthy relationships. Couples giving in to their base physical desires with people they do not know. And it is dangerous too. Over 2,000 women lost their lives to dating violence in 2014 across our nation.

As a society we are failing at relationships!

But there is hope. The research is clear about the difference between couples who make it and couples who do not. And what over 40 years of research with healthy couples is telling us is that when we do relationships the way God set things up, we create the lifelong love of our heart’s deepest longings.   Here are some specific things you can do to create a healthy successful relationship in a world of failing relationships.

  • Invest in Your Marriage. Attending a couples weekend or workshop annually reduces the likelihood of a divorce by 83%. Research with active military found that married couples that completed a marriage seminar were over 300% less likely to get a divorce.
  • Yield to Your Spouse. Spouses who have fewer “my way or the highway” preferences had longer lasting marriages. Over 80% of marriages ended in divorce where one spouse had to have almost everything their way about everything their way. Couples who learn to yield to the input of their spouse on most decisions in their relationship found success.
  • Have Hard Conversations. With 96% accuracy, divorce can be predicted by how conflict is handled. When couples move toward each other instead of away from each other or aggressively against each other, the relationship will get into a negative pattern. Issues are not solved which means they reappear again at a later time. They stop talking to each other and the end is near.
  • Do the Things You Used to Do When You First Fell In Love. Spouses who write love notes, give full body attention, set up and ask their spouse out on dates, tell their spouse how much they appreciate them, engage their spouse in conversations, etc. are continually recreating that loving feeling. Couples begin to fall back into like which can lead to falling back into love.
  • Pray Together. According to one research group, less than one percent of couples who pray regularly together end in divorce. One of the ways to do that is to be in a community of believers with couples who value marriage the way that you do.

If you are like us, you are committed to the spouse you are with right now. You are focused on doing the things you need to do to create life together forever. You are building your healthy relationship skills and taking action to be the best spouse you can be. You are going to make your relationship work even when relationships around you are failing.

If you find yourself in trouble, contact us for a Marriage Intensive or visit with a local minister or counselor.  May God bless you as you do relationships His way.

What do you have to say?

We love to hear from readers. What other suggestions you would add to this article? Do you know someone you need to forward this article to?

This article was written by Roy and Devra Wooten, authors of “The Secret to a Lifetime Love”. Learn more at © Roy and Devra Wooten 2017. All Rights Reserved. You may replicate this article as long as it is provided free to recipients and includes appropriate attribution. Written permission for other use may be obtained at [email protected].