Posted on

Your Spouse Deserves Your Full Body Attention

Lisa was about to explode. Her husband of 8 years came home early from work, plopped down on the couch and asked, “what’s for supper?” After a full day of caregiving for her 18 month old and kindergartner, she was tired and stressed. And his first communication with her was one that really pushed her buttons.

As an intelligent leader who had held her own in a corporate job before focusing on raising children, she knew she would have a better chance of telling him how she feels if she kept her emotions in check. So she asked him if they could talk and began telling him about her stressful day of caregiving. In the middle of her report she realized that his eyes were moving from the television to his phone and back to the television. He was facing the television and rarely turned his head toward her face. And she felt like she was not being heard.

What Lisa wanted more than anything else in that moment was to experience what we call “full body attention”.   She wanted him to show her in every way possible that she had his undivided attention. She wanted to know that there was nothing in the world more important or of a higher priority to him than what she had to say.

Full Body Attention

Full body attention is how we tell our spouse they are the most important and highest priority in our world in that moment.

Posted on

Free Relationship Tips For You!

Marriage is hard.  Relationships are difficult.  If you do nothing it devolves into pain. If you try to do something, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  And sometimes encouragement seems to be missing from our friends, family members and spouse.  It is up to each spouse to find encouragement and find hope in a difficult challenging moment.

That is exactly why we develop and share relationship tips.  Originally we developed over 150 but now we have more than enough for one a day for a year.  And we post them regularly to encourage couples  for free on our social media posts.

How can you get your free relationship tips?

Like “LifeTogetherForever” on Facebook.

Follow @MarriageChamp on Twitter

Add +RoynDev on Google Plus

Follow LifeTogether on Pinterest

Share LifeTogetherForever on Instagram

Enjoy these tips to give you a pick-up in your relationship day by day and week by week.    Use them to continue to create the relationship your heart desires most!

Posted on

Five Ways To Move Toward Your Spouse

We had a great time as the guests on a conference call with marriage ministers and marriage counselors from all across the globe. One pastor asked the question, “What are the few things I can tell couples that will get their stale marriages moving in the right direction?”

We believe that every can take action now, immediately, to make their marriage better, stronger, and closer. Here is how we answered the question and what we recommend every couple do to move toward each other and the marriage they deeply desire.

Ways To Move Toward Your Spouse

Posted on

Prioritize The Meaning Of Christmas

Christmas is the one time each year all over the world that attention is paid to the story of Christ coming to earth. It is ultimately a story of sacrifice and love. It is because He came into the world that we understand grace, mercy, and unconditional love. It is because He came into the world to die, be raised and give us redemption that we find peace and joy no matter the circumstances.

Christmas time is a painful time for many. It holds memories of those who have passed as well as those that have left our lives. Many have horrible memories of the holidays with stressful family times. We end up sitting next to someone at the dinner table we would not have in our lives if they were not related. We have uncomfortable conversations about topics we usually avoid.

Christmas time is stressful with all of the long To-Do lists. Decorating, Christmas shopping, wrapping, Church programs, card writing, cooking, traveling, etc.! It is a tough time of year!

Keep The Meaning of Christmas This Year

Posted on

Is Anger Sabotaging Your Marriage?

Daniel and Teresa invested a day in a marriage intensive.   They were in a long pattern of negative interaction that included frequent and intense use of the Marriage Killers. By the end of the day, each had made individual, unilateral commitments to move toward the marriage they wanted.

About two weeks later, we met them for a follow up visit. He had done almost everything that he had committed to doing. She had not fully kept a single commitment on her list.   During the session we helped her uncover deep anger and resentment about how her life was different than the dream she had about it.

Why You Hold On To Anger

Like many spouses we have worked with, holding on to anger is a major block to moving the marriage forward. There are two primary reasons why we keep our resentments instead of moving forward.

Posted on

Make Christmas Giving Meaningful

Everyone wants Christmas to be meaningful. Instead of making Christmas giving meaningful, we follow the marketers’ advice and Christmas given just becomes shop, shop shop.

Chrismas giving becomes Christmas stress with credit cards, traffic jams, to-do lists, and useless gifts. When we finally arrive at Christmas morning, we are just glad that we have survived it all.

Did you know Americans are expected to spend over 650 billion dollars this year for Christmas? Average family spending on Christmas gifts is estimated to be over 900 dollars this year.

What if you bought fewer gifts this year? What if you did not buy that sweater she will only wear once, or those additional toys your child does not need, or those random gift cards? What if instead of spending more on gifts you give something of greater value to those you love?

Meaningful Gifts

Posted on

Touch Your Spouse More!

Touch is the first of the senses to develop, and it remains perhaps the most emotionally central throughout out lives. Researchers have discovered that gentle, tender, non-sexual touch has powerful health benefits, including

  • Enhances growth in children.
  • Improves emotional, physical and cognitive functioning.
  • Lowers blood pressure and heart rate.
  • Reduces cortisol levels (Stress).
  • Stimulates memory.
  • Oxytocin levels go up, increasing uplifting emotions.
  • Boosts the immune system.

We are all familiar with how important touch is to us. When our spouse shares a tender touch, it not only has the above effects, but it also connects and bonds us in a way that words cannot. Sometimes we long for our spouse to touch us, but waiting for our spouse to initiate touch is self-defeating. According to the Touch Research Institute, the one initiating touch receives the same benefits of touch as the person on the receiving end. Reaching out and touching our spouse when we are wanting touch from them is helpful to us getting what we need.

‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ Luke 6:31 (NIV)

Posted on

Making The Most Of Stressful Holidays

Holidays are a stressful time for couples and families.  Negative patterns of interaction grow exponentially as almost all communication becomes focused on the tasks of the holiday.  Frequently feelings are hurt in the mix and there are long periods of negative emotions and energy.

But now faith, hope, and love remain; these three virtues must characterize our lives. The greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13 (Voice)

Make Your Holidays Better

Turn your relationships around during the holidays by implementing these tips for making memories!

Posted on

Does Your Marriage Need Thanksgiving?

When we first begin falling in love, we notice everything. We take note of how our love-interest acts, what they do and what they say. We are grateful for the effort they put into the relationship, every act of kindness, and any gesture toward us.

From Gratitude to Expectation

As our relationship moves into the commitment to a life together forever, our attention moves to different things. Setting up a household, budget and routine are on our minds instead of the nice things our spouse is doing.

Unconsciously and unintentionally we stop feeling gratitude for what our spouse is doing and who they are. Instead, too often, we only notice it if it does not happen. The thing we once said “thank you” for has moved from something novel and nice to something that we expect. And when it doesn’t happen, we feel disappointed, sad or hurt.

The Power of Thankfulness

Posted on

Fall Back In Love Again!

The most important sex organ is the brain. And within the brain we are finding the answer to a very important question that is a common problem within most relationships: “How do we fall back in love again and again in a life together forever?”

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised. Song of Solomon 8:6-7