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Five Societal Reasons For The High Divorce Rate

We are frequently asked about why couples divorce. Our usual answer is focused on what couples do within their marriage that eventually leads to them living separate lives in the same home. The reasons commonly blamed for divorce, such as infidelity and financial issues, are really symptoms of the marital challenges already experienced in the marriage.

“I hate divorce,” says [God….He] says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. Malachi 2:16 (MSG)

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Does Your Marriage Need The Sex Talk? (Part 2 of 2)

Being able to have a conversation with your spouse about sex is a necessary part of having a successful marriage. You must be willing to mention “the unmentionables” in a respectful discussion. Not discussing sex with your spouse almost always leads to sexual acting out in some destructive way to the relationship. Listening to your spouse’s desires is one of the most powerful things you can do to keep your marriage healthy.

It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.I Cor 7:2b-5

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Does Your Marriage Need The Sex Talk? (Part 1 of 2)

We were leading a retreat weekend in Wisconsin and one of the staff shared this hilarious video that sums up what couples that have been married for several years have described to us about their love life.   We hope you’ll watch it with your spouse and smile.

 Not discussing sex with your spouse almost always leads to sexual acting out in some destructive way to the relationship.

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Do This To Reignite “That Loving Feeling” Again

The most important sex organ is the brain. And within the brain we are finding the answer to a very important question that is a common problem within most relationships: “What happened to that loving feeling I felt during the first part of our relationship?”

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised. Song of Solomon 8:6-7

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How The Way You Talk To Your Spouse Is Hurting Your Marriage

“You never take out the trash. You’re a lazy bum, just like your father.”

“If I don’t vacuum, it would never get done. I guess you’re fine living like a pig.”

“Where’s supper. I’ve been working all day and I’m hungry. What did you do all day?”

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 15:23 NIV

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Stop Arguing About Chores and Create The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted

We do not know anyone who loves to do chores. But they have to get done. And with most couples who come to us for help, chores seems to be part of the discussion. One feels like the other hardly ever helps, or does not keep their end of the delegated chores or spends too much time doing them instead of connecting with their spouse. Sometimes the issue is that the one doing the chores is being regularly criticized instead of appreciated for doing them.

“For each will have to bear his own load” Galations 6:5 ESV

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Free Relationship Tips

Do you follow us on social media? Join us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Google+ and regularly receive free relationship tips.

We are giving away a signed copy of “The Secret to Lifetime Love” to one lucky person a month during the month of April. You will receive an entry into the weekly drawing every time you like, join or follow one of our social media pages. Or if you are already following us, if you invite your friends or followers to also join us. Watch for the winners to be listed in social media as well.

 

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How Unspoken Expectations Are Keeping You From The Marriage You Want

It is amazing to us how many times husbands and wives are sitting in our offices and learn for the first time something about their spouse. Some have been married years and never knew that when she does this, he feels that… or that it always makes her feel the same negative way when he does that.

It makes sense to us that blown expectations is a huge part of the negative pattern of interactions that couples in struggle find themselves experiencing. One of the biggest “aha”s for us in our work with couples over the years is the huge number of times that the offended spouse has never communicated the expectation to the offending spouse. That is, when one spouse expects the other to do something that has never been communicated and is emotionally frustrated, hurt or sad when it does not happen.

Unspoken expectations are unhealthy expectations.
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Husbands, You Are Invited (special post from Roy)

Since my earliest days in dating relationships, I have always wanted to know what God says about being a husband. I read most of the Christian men’s books and attended many weekends where I gathered information about how to be a better man. I was a part of the earlier years of the Promise Keeper’s movement and have enjoyed the culture of Mens Fraternity.

I knew what God wanted me to do as a man. I could recite scriptures and lead study groups. But there always seemed to be a disconnect between what I knew and what I did. I was not the husband Devra deserved. I would sometimes say things that hurt her and I struggled with understanding why. What I really wanted was a life together forever but I sometimes did things that was not building, in fact was hurting me building what I really wanted in my marriage.

My brother-in-law invited to experience the Christian mens weekend called The Crucible Project. It was weekend like no other. Instead of just learning new information, I was given experiences that helped me understand what was working and not working in my life as a man. I was able to have a “Jacob-like experience wrestling with God”.

I knew I was saved. I knew God loved me and that I would be in heaven. But I rarely felt His incredible grace. On the weekend, I was able to know not only in my head but feel in my heart the love and grace of God.

Since then I am living healthier. I am building the kind of world and the kind of marriage relationship of my deepest heart’s desires.

I want to invite you to experience what I experienced. Join me on one of the upcoming Crucible Project weekends and “Feel The Heat, Face The Fire, and Find Your Gold!

  • Mar 20-22, 2015 
Williams Bay, WI
  • April 24-26, 2015
 Spring, TX
  • May 29-31, 2015
 Williams Bay, WI
  • Jun 5-7, 2015 
Lenorah, TX
  • Jul 24-26, 2015
 Spring, TX
  • Aug 14-16, 2015
 Charles, IL
  • Aug 28-30, 2015
 Como, CO
  • Oct 23-25, 2015
 Lake Brownwood, TX
  • Oct 30-Nov 1, 2015
 Como, CO
  • Nov 6-8, 2015
 Williams Bay, WI
  • Nov 13-18, 2015 
Spring, TX

Learn more at TheCrucibleProject.org.