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Training For Pastors/Counselors and Marriage Champions

We are so excited to be a part of a training marriage ministers, counselors and marriage champions, just like you, across Texas this Spring.

Come join us and learn how to work with couples.  You will be taught how to teach our Life Together Forever couples curriculum for pre-marital and married couples.  If you complete the training, you will also receive certification in the curriculum.  The curriculum is approved in the Twogether In Texas program and you will be allowed to give away certificates for free marriage licenses after trained.

Attendees will also receive a free copy of our Church Small Group Curriculum called, “The Secret To Lifetime Love” as well as receive a copy of our book, “Four Minutes to Revolutionize Your Relationship”.

In partnership with Esteem Marriage and Twogether In Texas, we will be across Texas on the following dates, 9AM – 5PM:

  • March 9, Austin
  • March 30, Houston
  • April 27, San Antonio
  • May 4, Midland
  • May 18, Dallas
  • June 8, Brownsville

To learn more and to register, contact [email protected] or go to Esteem Marriage.

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Be The Change Your Marriage Needs

During a Marriage Saving Intensive, Claire told us about how Lance had never really shared what was going on in his heart. “After 18 years of marriage, I know more about how my dog feels about things than I know what Lance cares about.” She was miserable and blamed her husband for her unhappiness.

Lance felt like there was a bait and switch. He told us that their love life was wonderful as they began their relationship, but “she has a wall up in our love life. I have leaned to just get through, because I don’t have a wife who wants me in any way.”   He told us that unless she changes, he is not willing to make any changes.

“So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it! Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.” Hebrews 12-17 (MSG)

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Why Love Is So Important

It was great to be at the Texas Ministry Conference again this year. It has become like a family reunion for us reconnecting with friends across Texas who are Pastors, ministers and church staff.

A young lady in her late twenties who has never been married approached us to ask a serious question. “Why is love so important?” She went on to explain that she has been in a few developing relationships but has yet to find the man she believes God has in store for her. Yet she finds herself wishing that she did not have a desire to marry as she struggles with loneliness which leads to sadness and frustration.

We believe the answer has its roots in our origins.

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Your Forever Valentine

February 14th is a day set aside to tell the one we love the most how much we love them. And retailers have made it an incredibly profitable day annually.  According to Forbes, Americans will spend an average of $136.57 a piece with overall Valentine’s sales for jewelry, flowers, clothing, candy, restaurants, cards and movies projected at $18.2 billion dollars.

‘Most of all, love each other steadily and unselfishly, because love makes up for many faults.’ I Peter 4:8 (VOICE)

Make Yours a Forever Valentine

After you have spent the dough on something perishable for Valentines Day, we hope you will consider stretching Valentines out throughout the whole year in a much less expensive way. Here are some things you can do to make yours a Forever Valentine.

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Loving Your Wife Well

We love our friend in ministry, Ron Rose. Ron has written much that has influenced our relationship and our parenting of our children. He blogs today at Faith Team.

One of our favorite books by Ron is “Loving Her: 30 days to a more loving relationship with your wife”. It is a month of daily reading with action steps husbands can take to strengthen their relationship with their wife.

Rediscovering Your Wife
One of the most important things a husband can realize is that they have so much to yet discover about their wife. Here are a few nuggets from “Loving Her”.

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When It Hurts Your Marriage

Cathy was in a perpetual cycle of marriage destruction. She disliked her husband and blamed him for her unhappiness. Almost every day, she left her home to hangout drinking with friends.

Her husband and children were telling her how unimportant they felt. But she continued to blame her husband for her unhappiness. When he complained about her drinking, or absence from his and the kids’ lives, she struck back accusing him of being “emotionally abusive and controlling.”

Cathy is not the only one. In our marriage intensives over the years we have witnessed both men and women in such a destructive pattern.

‘Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.’ Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

When A Behavior Is Hurting Your Marriage

Whether it is drinking or some other behavior, you may not be aware of it being a problem. Chances are that you do not think of the behavior as a problem. How can you tell if what you are doing is hurting yourself and your marriage.

Here are some tell-tale signs that what you are doing is a problem.

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Super Bowl Game For Your Marriage

Every year the Super Bowl becomes an anxiety producing event for married couples.  She’s worried about what to wear and whether or not the right mix of people will work at the party.  He’s worried if he will get the best seat and have his favorite foods and drinks.  He’s worried that she will talk through the game and interrupt the festivities with drama.  She’s worried that he will drink too much, ignore her or embarrass her.

What if the Super Bowl was something that could move you toward your spouse?  We started this game a few years ago and began sharing it with other couples.  You and your spouse can play this game “on the down low”, without any other couples knowing what is going on.  Or you can invite all of the married couples to play along.

The Super Bowl Marriage Game

  • Kiss every time either team scores.
  • Hug once second per point scored.
  • Give each other one compliment or appreciation for every point scored in the game. This can happen after the game at another time.
  • Plan at least one date in the next twelve months for every time your team scores.This can happen after the game at another time.
  • Plan one weekend getaway for every safety.This can happen after the game at another time.
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Lies Hurting Your Marriage

Everyone is wounded. No one has experienced life exactly like you have but all of us have wounds. Sometime early in our life, in our interactions with our parents, or a sibling, classmates, teacher, or a clergy member, we were wounded.

In that moment, Satan told you a lie about yourself.

  • You are not good enough.
  • You don’t have what it takes.
  • You can’t do it right.
  • You are broken.
  • You don’t matter.
  • You are not important.
  • You are unlovable.
  • You are worthless.
  • You don’t belong.
  • You have no value.
  • You are defective.

Believing The Lie Hurts Your Marriage

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Dating For Life Together Forever

Remember when you first began to fall in love. It seemed like you couldn’t keep your future spouse off of your mind. When you were together, it was like there was no one else in the world. When you were apart, you could not wait to be back together again.

You may have had a love song tying you together. You probably had a favorite hang out or activity that you did together. You may have written notes or texts or emails to each other frequently. You probably called each other special “pet” names.

Dating Challenge

Once you moved from dating to a committed relationship, it seemed like distance began to grow. You stopped dating and focused on wedding planning. You picked a living space and honey moon location. You worked on a budget together. You stopped connecting and started making decisions together.

The challenge of life together forever is that you become so focused on managing your life together that you stop connecting with each other. You stop dating. And when you date, you end up in an argument. One is upset at the other at the end of the night. It feels like nothings working.

Date Night Rules

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Two For Tuesday

Doug said, “I already gave you a kiss when I got home.” They were in an argument in front of us during a Marriage Intensive. Rhonda was complaining about how “he never shows any affection towards me.” Doug was explaining that he feels like he has already checked it off his to-do list.

“Above all else, watch over your heart; diligently guard it because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.” Proverbs 4:23

What they were telling us, and so many couples have told us over the years, is that the behavior alone does not accomplish the job. Working from a to-do list to show love to your spouse is a good start, but it only works if it is coming from your heart.

Two For Tuesday